Deep Breath and Prayer

I am alive. I feel like someone kicked me in the crotch while wearing steel-toe boots, yet I am alive to tell about it. Worry not, I will not tell about that , at least not for now! I was pretty worked up and scared going into things yesterday as I had gone through this two years ago and it was essentially a nightmare physically and emotionally. Gynos are evil I tell you (and the fact that just auto-corrected to Gyros just made my day. Gyros are not evil...just kind of gross). I whole-heartedly attribute yesterday going so smoothly to all the prayers said on my behalf. Since I was a teen, I have had a friend who I would always call when I had something I really needed God to hear. I am always good with praying for others, yet I struggle when it comes to me praying for something for myself. I often feel like the line gets disconnected before the call is even made. When we were together, either camp or sleepovers, I would always let her pray before we called it a night. I knew God was go...

Welcome to the Throwback Thursday, the "V" edition. The one that will scar you for the remainder of your days. You see, while you are reading this, I am (hopefully) drugged up and out cold, recovering from one of those fun loving gynecological procedures. I went through this two years ago and when I woke up afterwards I was in some wicked pain, enough that it cost me an extra 4 hours in recovery. They were doping me up with stuff I couldn't pronounce and it just barely took the edge off. At the present moment though, with less than 10 hours to go, I am officially in that "freaked out scared" state of mind. If someone were here, they would have to put up with me rambling on talking, yet, since I live alone, I will just ramble on writing. You see, I have decided that if I have to get violated, I am sharing the wealth!!! Only thing is, you get a choice, you don't have to keep reading (yet this could be a good one!) Let this be my disclaimer - I hold no responsi...

There is a skill we will be getting to soon in class. It is called "opposite action" and I started reading about it several weeks ago. Yes, I know, overachiever. I'm not going to get too much into it, I will save that for when we actually get there in class, yet the concept is pretty much as it sounds - do the opposite. An example would be this darn depression that our winter weather has not helped much. If I could hide in bed all day and never get up, I would be content. I don't want to get up, I don't want to interact with anyone or anything, and I just want life to go away and leave me alone. Then I roll over, take a deep breath, and tell myself to get up. Yes, I would love to hibernate, yet is this really the healthiest choice I can make? Get up, get dressed, go interact with something. Face your fears. So I do and the next day when I don't want to get up again, I get up. This is a pretty basic explanation of it. It has been one of those days. I survived t...

In August 1990, I was robbed at gun point. It was my last night of work before heading back to college. I actually had been asked earlier that day by one of the other employees if I wanted her to take my shift since it was my last night. I had said no, that I would finish it out. Just after 10 pm, a guy came into the store and around the corner after the cash register. When he rounded the corner, there I was, knelt down behind the counter. He started yelling for me to get up, open the cash register, and clean it out. My co-worker (there was only 2 of us in the store) was in the back running water in the sinks and heard nothing over the water. I got up and my mind went blank. I remember the buttons almost merging with one another on the cash register and I couldn't remember what button to push to open the drawer. I was shaking and trying to open the drawer and the guy just kept yelling and yelling. About that time my co-worker came around the corner to see what was going on and foun...