Deep Breath and Prayer

This weekend is "General Conference" at church. Instead of regular Sunday services, we are able to watch via satellite, talks from the leaders of the Church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). Each October and April, for one weekend from 11 - 1 and 3 - 5 on Saturday and Sunday, we are blessed to hear about 25 different talks on various gospel topics, focusing on Christ as well as enjoy musical numbers from choirs and, of course, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. So many answers can come during Conference. We are always encouraged to prayerfully take questions we have in our lives to the Lord and then go and listen to Conference with an open heart and mind. There are times when it is like they say one sentence and you feel like it was said directly to you. Now, this happens in regular Sunday services from time to time as well, yet Conference is like that "perfect opportunity" to just listen and feel. I realized that it was just last Conference, six months a...

Toward the end of my mission, we did exchanges with Jones and Haubert (where we swap companions for a day) as Jones was going to be going home soon and we always enjoyed getting to spend time with one another. I actually had gone out with Haubert and Larson went with Jones for the day. That night when we got back to the apartment I noticed there was only one bed at their place. When I inquired of it, Haubert noted that they just took the couch cushions each night and tossed them in the bedroom for a second bed. Still not satisfied and picking up she was avoiding answering the question, I asked again where the other bed was (for I knew there used to be two of them). Preceded with, "I promised I wouldn't tell" she went on, "you are sleeping in it." When Larson and I got to Orlando and they fixed us up with an apartment, we had no furniture. We got donated one bed with these cheap mattresses (if you can even call them that) on it. We split the mattresses and then w...

There is a scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Idgy and Ruth are out for the day and Idgy gathers fresh honey from a comb among several bees. When she returns to Ruth with the honey, Ruth has this horrified look on her face. In the exchange that follows, appearing confused, Idgy asks, "is that bad, what I did?" As I seem to be in this mode of reflecting I have realized that this scenario of questioning my actions has played out quite a bit as I have gone through class and learned so many new things and different ways to view old things. Generally, it is in conversations and I am talking about how I handle an emotion or situation or my reasoning for doing such and I will get these expressions from people that makes me reply, "what? was that wrong?" Now, I have never been told I am a Bee Charmer although I have been told, "Dude, that is (or you are) messed up." Now there is some supportive and affirming language, although better than the non-verbal exp...

I woke up this morning having to pee so bad I was not sure if I was going to make it to the bathroom or not. Blessed be, the kidneys finally kicked back in. My body just hates me more and more each time I have something done. Let's hope this is it for a while. I no longer find any joy or excitement in recovery. I am not going to complain about the letting up of the flank pain I've been fighting for three days or the joint pain from the fluid retention. I look forward to stepping on the scales tomorrow and seeing just how much "water weight" I lost today. I think that just leaves one item on the list to resolve and I should be back to 100% again, or close to it. My follow up appt with the doc is next Monday, so it can be a race to the end. I'm hoping for a good appointment and a release to full activity. I will leave there and go straight over the old YWCA and get my membership back so I can start swimming again. Just for those who might be interested, I am still d...

I think I may have found the way to shut my brain down - write an email about something that just scares you to death and then your brain just stops working. Although effective, the residual effects from it are not the greatest, therefore I don't think I will move it to the top of any lists real soon. Therefore my "brain full of thoughts and words" last night got turned off before I wrote a post. Yet, hey! Look, I have returned today! Several years ago there was this whole "25 random things you may not know about me" that was going through Facebook. Yes, I jumped on that one. Seeing that today is April 1, April Fool's Day, I will post several again (with the help of my brother). The fun in it will be trying to figure out which are true and which are not. Oh, worry not, at some point later this week I will give the answers. In the meantime though.... I have three siblings - two brothers and a sister. I love disco music.  My first job was working putt putt gol...

Yah, you didn't think I would finish Spring Break week out and not write, did you? I sometimes wonder if years down the line someone will read all these (besides me). I'd like to think I have written them in a way that they feel like someone is talking to them. Heck, maybe they would even be inspired or strengthened or something crazy like that. Maybe they would chuckle and think, "whoa, my life isn't as bad as I thought." Just a thought, one of those crazy, random thoughts that frequently travel through my brain. I made it through the first 30 minutes of church today. Seeing that God has really watched over me this past week, I felt the need to make the best effort I could to go and worship and give thanks. I got up, showered, dressed, and headed that way. Only took me about half way there to think to myself how this may not have been the smartest plan. It should have been a sign when a few people who knew what was going on (yes, I made an effort not to tell anyo...