Deep Breath and Prayer

Hey Blewy Hey there. You've been sitting here a while, you ok? Yah, just looking around the empty gym and thinking. Will you share with me what is on your mind? Like, what do you know about this gym? Is it a familiar place or just a plain old gym? Oh, it is no ordinary gym, never been. This is the gym from my middle school days. Not sure why, yet when I have tried to imagine the rowdy kids and the loudness, this is where it is. Seems a little ironic as, even though I really did not care for middle school, a lot of great things happened in this gym. I played ball in this gym and 10 years later would return and coach here. Ok, so memories of PE class are not exactly top of the list, yet I will take all the ball ones. Band was up there on the stage, another great moment in time. I played flute then. You know, there was this room up top of the stage, like there was this door that went to some space that was above the locker rooms. We always wondered what was up there and even when I ca...

Hey guiding one. I would love to come and sit down with you. Thank you for offering. I think I am hanging in there pretty good. Not having any desires to give up or give in anytime soon. As always, medication adjustment is quite the ride, this one just seems to have a little more excitement to it. I think I am ok with what is happening right now. It is hard to describe because it is so different. It is not like I have a pain, take pain medicine, and pain is gone. Once again, it is like seeing life a completely different way. My very interaction with things is different. I am not trying to listen above my loud mind or focus through a bunch of busy distractions. It is wonderful and scary all at the same time. I hesitate to really rejoice in it for the fear it might not last. Evenings are difficult. My guess is that with the extra dose of being tired and exhausted, my poor PLEASE master gets a huge kick in the shins. I just have to remember that there does seem to be a pattern and I can j...

Hey Blewy. Will you come sit here with me? It is safe. How you hanging in there? Wild ride, eh? Things will level off and balance out. There really is a light at the end of this tunnel, just keep moving. No need for me to ask how your emotions are, as I have a pretty good idea. My question is, how are * you *? Are you ok with what is happening right now? Are the changes ok or too much? I know how you like to act all tough and like you have things under control, yet do you? This is some new territory for you and I imagine it is scary. I want you to understand that it is perfectly ok not to be ok. Maybe you should read that again...maybe a few times actually. Oh, and it is ok to let someone know if it is not. You know, you are not being a bother or whining or any of those negative things - trust me. I see that you backed yourself into a corner tonight. Listen to me, you aren't going to hurt anyone, and no one is going to hurt you, ok? You cannot stay there, it is not good for you. Ye...