Deep Breath and Prayer

Desire, 10+. Intent...low, only because I do not own firearms. It passes my mind from time to time, if there was a loaded gun sitting in front of me, would I use it. The answer is always yes more than no. Thus why I do not own a firearm. Of course, there is a plan. There is always a plan. If my intention is to remove myself as a bother, then I have to have all my affairs in order, house cleaned up, things imparted as necessary. Seeing that I may never get my house cleaned up, I guess no one needs to worry about me hurting myself to the point of death. Guess it is a tradeoff. Yesterday was head games with the food, today is just head games. I have done well today for the most part, just been this evening when it all started to get loud and overload again. It still frustrates me. I get mad at myself because I have the knowledge and skills to keep it from affecting me so intensely, and yet it still does. I once again find myself struggling with the whole taking someone's time to help ...

A while back, a friend put on facebook that if you private messaged her a number, she would post a reply on her page using the number as the identifier. This past few weeks she has done it again and she posted mine today......   #0835: You empathise with my wandering ways, perhaps more than almost anyone I’ve ever known, although you’ve almost always lived in the same place, while I’ve been flung all over the earth. Your course has been internal; we share this, as we’ve shared so many memories and dark riddles. We met at a religious camp for girls. We detested each other instantly; you were a tough little butch Tae Kwon Do-doer and I was a skinny, scabby-kneed tomboy who concealed it with hyper-fe minine clothing. By the first night, we decided not to hate each other somehow. We had to occupy the same tent, so we had to figure it out. You serenaded me with Peter Cetera’s “The Glory of Love,” kneeling in a fire pit to sing, “I am a man, who will fight for your honou...

My homework was to come up with 10 things I like to do. These are not in any particular order. Family history/genealogy Build things in my workshop Dance Swim Watch movies Color Go to museums Work on things (mechanics) Do puzzles Bubble baths!