Deep Breath and Prayer

...in my dreams. Chris made a few comments in session last night that got my brain going (as if it had not been churning enough). I was talking about how I felt sad and it was kind of like it was there and just not moving forward. I was getting frustrated because of that. Feeling like if I am to the point I am feeling sad, then it is kind of cruel joke for it to just sit there and do nothing. Kind of like when you are cold and cannot get enough layers of clothes and blankets on. You may not get colder, yet you don't get any warmer either. In the past, when I got/felt sad, it did not stay around long, I didn't let it. I quickly buried it under anger as not to give into the big myth of "if I am sad I am not in control." Chris made reference to that and it got me thinking that I have not been doing that, I am just being sad and letting it sit there (even if it doesn't go anywhere). I guess that is actually a step forward, eh? You know, all this is so new to me. I am ...

What another busy day it has been and that is ok. Seems that the busier I stay sometimes the less my mind tries to go on its own path. Of course, then I have the whole getting overwhelmed thing, yet that just comes with the territory. We can call it hazards of living. Time to start walking. Payday with income tax return meant new good shoes. Hopefully they will help my knees which feel like I have shards of glass in them when they flex. Yah, I know, sounds painful, eh?? The other night I was just laying there thinking "what I would do for some Vicodin" not to abuse it, just to take the edge off the pain in my knees. Over the counter stuff isn't touching them. Oh well, no pain, no gain and maybe good support will help get them back on track. Of course I can't handle plain white shoelaces. A trip to Farm and Fleet to hit up the sale on paracord and poof! we have yellow laces!!! Yah, I'm going to be happy with these for many miles to come! Besides, stock shoelaces ar...