Deep Breath and Prayer

Evening. Just tucked in and thought maybe I should write just a little. Was out fishing this afternoon and I had that big tidal wave of sadness hit me hard. Hate it when that happens. It has weighed on me since. I actually quit fishing because of it, which timed out nicely with the thunder that rolled in. I did not go straight home, had that *not ready to go* feeling. Sat out in a parking lot for an hour or so just thinking, drawing, trying to get my head on straight. Eventually came home. Just texted a few with Chris. Told her I did not know why I was sad. Ok, let's honestly think about session today. Was there anything we talked about that wouldn't make me sad? My failed relationship with Nicole, my failed friendship with 35, my failed issues with my mom. Um, ok, maybe I have a small reason to be sad. I think it didn't hit me until earlier because I was all go, go, go, and it was the first moment that I stopped that it all could catch up with me....and it has hurt. I have...

It has taken everything I have to not go fishing . I told myself that I was not going fishing and instead I was getting things done here around the house. Yah, that equated to a 3+ hour nap. Should have gone fishing. Went with Lora yesterday. What a fun day! She caught a few and laughed as she fed a lot more. Told her not to worry, I do that that plenty of times. She was super excited each time she caught one...and when I would catch them too. We have spent a lot of time together lately, just hanging out. Maybe she should move more often? Sadly, it has been a long time since we have just "been sisters" and not had life, jobs, marriages, or mother to deal with. I am soaking them all up as much as I can because the end of the summer will be here before I know it, and she will be gone. I miss 35. I miss my friend. I miss laughing at silly things while eating Chinese. I do, I really miss my friend. I find myself wanting to send a text message and just say hello, yet she was prett...