Deep Breath and Prayer

It is fact that in some circles I am an urban legend. Then there are some places that I am more like the prodigal child. It is ok, I love it. I always get a chuckle when I return to visit somewhere and hear "you mean you're Christy Blew??" Yes, I really do exist and the stories are most likely true. It would seem that I leave a lasting impression no matter where I go and I can't lie, it makes me smile. While out of town the other day I spent the afternoon with the sister missionaries going to appointments with them and driving them around to save their miles. I had met these two earlier in the fall and told them the first time I was visiting and had the time I would go out with them if they had not been transferred. They were excited to have me with them and even more excited when they asked "are we your family now too" and I replied "of course!" It would seem that among the 250 missionaries in the St. Louis area mission, one of the big goals is t...

October 15, 1991 was a Tuesday. I was a junior at EIU studying Journalism. I remember waking up that morning feeling overwhelmed to a level I had never experienced. My roommate left for class and I sat there looking at the clock calculating what the last possible moment could be before I left for mine. The minutes continued to tick away until finally I put my shoes on, went out to my car, drove home, and walked away from it all. I remember when I got home. I was asked why I was there and, now that I think back to it, my answer of "I'm not going back" may not have been the best statement to make. I was not on scholarship, yet I had enough grants that I was pretty much on a free ride. I was an honor student, smart and innovative. I pulled A's and B's with minimal effort. I loved learning and I loved the college environment. I had my educational planned out through a doctorate degree. It just could not be understood how I could walk away from a free education. It was...

I didn't do so good yesterday. I had the perfect opportunity to put a lot of skills into play and I dropped the ball. There it was, the perfect storm that I could have taken on and I reduced myself to less than I knew I was before it. Yes, physically I am not at 100% and that generally is a catalyst for these types of situations, yet at the end of the day it only equates to an excuse. I had the chance to prove myself and I didn't. I think it is time to add a new saying to my bathroom mirror: "This is when you use your skills." re·deem: transitive verb \ri-ˈdēm\: to make (something that is bad, unpleasant, etc.) better or more acceptable So how about some redemption? Instead of kicking myself for yesterday, can I redeem myself? Yes, I can't change yesterday, how I felt or how I reacted, yet I believe I can I find some peace with it. Therefore I am taking the hand offered to me last night and standing back up to see, with help of their guidance and my own thoughts,...

I like winning. I am not going to lie. I liked it when I was an athlete and I liked it when I was a coach. There's nothing like a great game and at the end of it you come out on top. Of course when I started coaching I always taught the kids that it was more about what you gave than what the scoreboard said. If you gave it everything you had, then you won. Sometimes the scoreboard doesn't show in our favor, yet our hearts do. I can't lie though, it is nice to see your team with the higher number when that final buzzer goes off. So what about losing? I hate to lose. I hate to lose even if I have given it every last drop of energy I have. I don't care if it is an athletic event or battling everyday life. I hate to lose. At some level you learn to accept it yet that does not mean you have to like it. I try to look at loss as a learning experience. What did I do? Where did it seem to fault? What can I change next round? The worst loss is the one you see coming and you know ...

I've been wanting to write for several days now and have kept telling myself no. I'm fighting "the crud" as my grandmother always referred to it as, and since I am on this new thing of taking care of myself, I actually went to the doc and got some medicine. Sinus infection and bronchitis. Yup, right on time for it's annual appearance. So why no writing until now? When I am sick, I am grumpy and very opinionated. I make the "man-cold" look like a walk in the park. It has been threatened that when I get sick people will put one of those lighted marquee signs in my front lawn that says "enter at your own risk" on it. I whine, I gripe, I am annoying. I can't make up my mind if I want to be left alone or cuddled (even though cuddled is not even a plausible option). I also seem to speak my mind much more bluntly than when I am not sick. People avoid me. It is ok. I am very aware of how I am and therefore do all I can to avoid people. I know I bec...