Deep Breath and Prayer

Well, guess since I had my fun with drawing and posting, I have to get back to real life. Sure did have fun. Years ago I wanted to write children's books and try to illustrate them. Of course stick people were about the level I would allow myself to draw....and they were some pretty awesome stick people I must add. My arm hurts again today where it is scarring. Asked a friend who used to be a nurse if she would look at it for me tomorrow at church. It started bothering me a couple weeks ago. Tami keeps suggesting I go to the doc, yet I don't know if I can bring myself to tell Cheryl what happened. I might have to though. As well, I have this state in my mind that what ever happens with it happens. I did it to myself so I don't have a right to complain about it. More lovely "from the past" crap. Another infamous line, "well, you did it to yourself, quit complaining." Seems in the past couple weeks more and more of those sayings have been coming to the sur...

[ Editors note: (always wanted to have one of these). Sometimes I get a chance just to have some fun that not only helps me yet might make someone else smile. I enjoyed doing this and it was especially wonderful as I have felt a little off with the adjustment to my medication - a great mindfulness activity. This one is all for you CW. You know me, always good for a story, a laugh, a drawing, or all three. Hope this little chicken soup for the soul makes you feel better! Oh, and please remember, it is the thought that counts!] ************************ Guardian : Ok everyone, I have offered to make chicken noodle soup and I need all your help! Blewy, fetch the car, we have some shopping to do. Blewy : Where are we going? Guardian : Just keep driving, I have this under control. Blewy : Chickens!!! Chickens everywhere!!!!  Guardian : I GOT THEM! GO! GO! GO! Guardian : Well, crap, I don't know what to do with a chicken. Anyone know what to do with these things? Christopher : I GOT IT!!...

I stayed home today. Got up to get the boys on the bus and then went back to bed and slept until I woke up on my own. After a lot of personal debate, I finally got up. I wanted to stay in bed. Decided a shower might help and since I had thrown in a load of laundry before laying back down, there was good and hot water. As I stood there under the hot spray, I had "please, can we go back to bed" going through my head over and over. This is one simple thing....depression. My answer to myself was simple, no. No more going to bed until bed time. I actually saw a decent list on Buzzfeed about depression ( http://www.buzzfeed.com/alexisnedd/things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-depressed#.fmVj5jxpEJ ). Usually their stuff is random and just quirky, yet I think this one hits the points of depression right on the mark. Among the many conversations with Tami lately, we have continued that "ashamed of how I live" talk. I find it interesting how things "come out" when I ...

It is not often that I write a post that is not associated with feelings, emotions, or drama. Maybe I think I don't have the right or something. Yet here is one that, although short and sweet, once again supports the fact that I can't make up stuff better than my real life. So this morning I wake up to this crazy sound. I realized it was not Tess and looked over to see a bird trying to get out my window.  Yah, that was get out. No clue how it got in, I guess through the dog door. So I get up and work to get the window open while it is flapping all over and all. Got the window open and propped so I could open the storm window. As I am trying to do that, the bird jumps up on my hand and calmly sits there until I get the window open enough for him to get out. All I could think about was how I makes cracks about this being the home for wayward animals and if a bird came and perched on me like snow white that I was finished with it all. Ok, did not ever intend on it really happening...

I think I should think about changing my name to "random" as that is about all I have to offer in my writing lately. It is not that there are no good stories and such in my mind, trust me they are there, it is just that I am having a lot of trouble getting them onto paper. As well, I lost my sketch book. Not a big deal except there are drawings in there still. I had hoped that it was here in my office and I just forgot to take it home, yet no luck. Karma has it out for me, unable to get my words on paper and misplacing my way to draw them out. Yah, life is great. Well, I did step out of my overly-comfortable, safe comfort zone a bit ago. I sent Lynn an email about my depression asking if she might increase my Zoloft before I see her again. I know I am no professional, yet I do know my body and I just feel like I am at a point with the depression that I can't fake it any longer. This is not even fake it until you make it, as there is not much left in the tank to fake. I ha...

Many, many times I sit and think back and forth, "email? Blog? Email? Blog?" I generally go back and look at how many emails I have sent and what the lengths were. Yah, in am not sure if I will ever move on from that one. Guess it is something that I struggle with. Anyways, based on that equation, blog wins. Today went well. The kids loved the pink hair. Last week I was holding Brooke and she was not getting down for anything. I was conducting so I asked her if she was going to be my helper. Today she comes up to me with her familiar "up" request. I picked her up and she smiles and says "I be your helper." She is so cute. She pats my head and tells me she loves pink. Ok child, can you melt my heart any more?? Had to go down to the candy shop in tuscola after church. They are wanting to upgrade their site and asked me to do a proposal. Not a problem, I can use the money. Have to knock that out this week. Lora called me as I was coming home. She was going th...