Finally just tired of it all
I always say, I don't want to die, I just want things to stop and be quiet so I can breathe and catch up, etc. That is what comes with the self harm - I don't want to die, I just need a break. I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally. Not sure why I have to end up in the place again. Not sure what I have done or not done. My days...and sometimes hours...are accompanied by promises and phrases - I'm safe, I won't, I'm good, I will. My actions are so untrustworthy that I spend as much time in therapy as I do at work - and rightfully so. I'm so done with it. I'm tired of living my life this way. I'm tired of having to promise this and report that. I don't want people worrying about me. I'm exhausted, I would guess they are exhausted too. I hate that I am so screwed up that I have to continually report things, that I can't manage to eat correctly, that I can't even take ownership of my life. Never thought I would put suicide back on the...