Deep Breath and Prayer

Been dodging writing on here. Decided if I couldn't write something that was was negative, dark, or defeating, then I needed to just stay away. Have kind of done the same with my drawing. Guess what, the only thing it is accomplishing is no writing and no drawings and a lot of stuff building up in my head. And then I end up in the "I wish I could talk to someone" versus "don't you think you have bothered people enough" argument playing over and over in my head. Yes, I probably have bothered and annoyed the hell out of people lately with my whining and carrying on, yet that doesn't negate that I still wish I had someone to talk to. Maybe I need to expand my people I know as to give the ones in my current circle a break from me. Yah, seems I am in that spot again. I am not fond of this spot. I am not really my best advocate when I am here. Thing is, I don't work real hard to allow anyone else to be my advocate either. My hand and arm are healing from m...

I have come to the conclusion that nothing sucks like: waking up only to realize you hurt yourself more than you thought. needing a safe place to go and not having one. going somewhere you previously felt safe, and no longer feel safe there. letting your choices take away your safe place. feeling too ashamed to ask anyone to let you hang around.  Hmmm, seems like I am back to normal. And to think, I didn't feel I would ever get there.