Three things
I stayed home today. Got up to get the boys on the bus and then went back to bed and slept until I woke up on my own. After a lot of personal debate, I finally got up. I wanted to stay in bed.
Decided a shower might help and since I had thrown in a load of laundry before laying back down, there was good and hot water. As I stood there under the hot spray, I had "please, can we go back to bed" going through my head over and over. This is one simple thing....depression. My answer to myself was simple, no. No more going to bed until bed time. I actually saw a decent list on Buzzfeed about depression (http://www.buzzfeed.com/alexisnedd/things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-depressed#.fmVj5jxpEJ). Usually their stuff is random and just quirky, yet I think this one hits the points of depression right on the mark.
Among the many conversations with Tami lately, we have continued that "ashamed of how I live" talk. I find it interesting how things "come out" when I just get talking. In the discussion I shared at one point that it was not so much that my house was cluttered, yet it was that my mom lived in a cluttered and full house and that I had no desire to be like my mom. So, there are a couple threads here. There is, "my house is trashed because this is all I can handle in life right now" and "my house is trashed which means I am going to turn out like my mother". Would anyone like to guess where that conversation went?
In regards to the house, she gave me homework to go thorough the place, decide what I could live with and what I could not - and be realistic. Then, work on the things that I noted I could not live with and for the rest, accept it as this is where I am right now and if people have a problem with that, it is their issues (I do think I could hear the Washo Wisdom in her words). So, today in my refusal of letting myself go to bed and sleep the day away, I decided to find three things that I could work on and complete.
A few weeks ago I stripped the bed and washed the blankets as they smelled more like a dog than Tess did. I got everything washed, yet I have not made it to putting the bed back together. Each night I say I am going to do it and I don't. So, after one too many night of sleeping on the mattress cover with a blanket thrown over us, I got the bed made. Clean sheets, all the blankets, and ready to go. Yes, I felt accomplished, especially since I can never manage to get the fitted sheet on without it looking like an act from Circe de Solil. Thank goodness it is only a twin sized bed.
Laundry was next in line. I have been doing laundry, yet I have just been stacking it up as I pull it out of the dryer. Although as a rule I am not a fan of folding clothes, I do get through them on a regular basis. As the pile kept growing, so did the feeling of it being an overwhelming task.
I not only got through the 4 baskets, additional piles that had overflowed from the baskets, and the two loads I ran through today, I got the window uncovered so when it finally gets warm, Tess has her air conditioner ready to go.
I am still working on the third which is to get through the web updates that I should have had done by now. Along with that, I have to make two flyers for tomorrows conference. Need to do those here because the printer at work has something wrong with it and plus, I wasn't there today to make them. I could always get up extra early and go into the office and get them done. That one is still in debate.
A hair cut, making chicken and rice, and finally finding out who mowed my lawn the other night has kind of finished off my agenda. I guess that leaves me to finishing the computer work which I can then celebrate by.....going to bed!
Decided a shower might help and since I had thrown in a load of laundry before laying back down, there was good and hot water. As I stood there under the hot spray, I had "please, can we go back to bed" going through my head over and over. This is one simple thing....depression. My answer to myself was simple, no. No more going to bed until bed time. I actually saw a decent list on Buzzfeed about depression (http://www.buzzfeed.com/alexisnedd/things-nobody-tells-you-about-being-depressed#.fmVj5jxpEJ). Usually their stuff is random and just quirky, yet I think this one hits the points of depression right on the mark.
Among the many conversations with Tami lately, we have continued that "ashamed of how I live" talk. I find it interesting how things "come out" when I just get talking. In the discussion I shared at one point that it was not so much that my house was cluttered, yet it was that my mom lived in a cluttered and full house and that I had no desire to be like my mom. So, there are a couple threads here. There is, "my house is trashed because this is all I can handle in life right now" and "my house is trashed which means I am going to turn out like my mother". Would anyone like to guess where that conversation went?
In regards to the house, she gave me homework to go thorough the place, decide what I could live with and what I could not - and be realistic. Then, work on the things that I noted I could not live with and for the rest, accept it as this is where I am right now and if people have a problem with that, it is their issues (I do think I could hear the Washo Wisdom in her words). So, today in my refusal of letting myself go to bed and sleep the day away, I decided to find three things that I could work on and complete.
A few weeks ago I stripped the bed and washed the blankets as they smelled more like a dog than Tess did. I got everything washed, yet I have not made it to putting the bed back together. Each night I say I am going to do it and I don't. So, after one too many night of sleeping on the mattress cover with a blanket thrown over us, I got the bed made. Clean sheets, all the blankets, and ready to go. Yes, I felt accomplished, especially since I can never manage to get the fitted sheet on without it looking like an act from Circe de Solil. Thank goodness it is only a twin sized bed.
I not only got through the 4 baskets, additional piles that had overflowed from the baskets, and the two loads I ran through today, I got the window uncovered so when it finally gets warm, Tess has her air conditioner ready to go.
I am still working on the third which is to get through the web updates that I should have had done by now. Along with that, I have to make two flyers for tomorrows conference. Need to do those here because the printer at work has something wrong with it and plus, I wasn't there today to make them. I could always get up extra early and go into the office and get them done. That one is still in debate.
A hair cut, making chicken and rice, and finally finding out who mowed my lawn the other night has kind of finished off my agenda. I guess that leaves me to finishing the computer work which I can then celebrate by.....going to bed!