To know joy
It is fact that in some circles I am an urban legend. Then there are some places that I am more like the prodigal child. It is ok, I love it. I always get a chuckle when I return to visit somewhere and hear "you mean you're Christy Blew??" Yes, I really do exist and the stories are most likely true. It would seem that I leave a lasting impression no matter where I go and I can't lie, it makes me smile.
While out of town the other day I spent the afternoon with the sister missionaries going to appointments with them and driving them around to save their miles. I had met these two earlier in the fall and told them the first time I was visiting and had the time I would go out with them if they had not been transferred. They were excited to have me with them and even more excited when they asked "are we your family now too" and I replied "of course!" It would seem that among the 250 missionaries in the St. Louis area mission, one of the big goals is to meet me and have me call you my family. Apparently, I am a legend now too.
How can people not like me? I'm kind of like that stray dog with no collar who might have mange that just hangs around your front lawn. Doesn't cause trouble, just lies in grass on the edge of your property and watches you. You really want to call animal control, yet you can't do it. You tell yourself you are going to ignore the scruffy thing, yet soon you find that you are saying hello. Maybe you toss a chicken bone out or leave some water. Then you do it......you call them over and you pet them. That's it, you're hooked. Even if the dog leaves and never comes back, you will always remember it.
I'm good with being a scruffy, mangy dog - no expectations. In high school I had a deal with my best buddy in History class. She was working full time outside of school and I couldn't see the board because I needed glasses. She would sit hidden behind me and sleep and I would wear her glasses and take notes. You see, smart people wore glasses. Now, yes, I was smart yet I didn't really care to be classified as so. In order to get my driver's license, I had to get glasses. I actually waited almost a year later than I had to just because I didn't want to get glasses. I didn't want to fit some role. I enjoyed flying just under the radar. I liked being equal with everyone. Expectations to be a certain way brought pressure. There is power in being a nobody and there is power in being a somebody without exceptions.
I'm pretty genuine - what you see is what you get. No smoke and mirrors. I am who I am, take it or leave it. If I make a commitment to someone or something, I give it everything I have and more. If there is a need and I can fulfill it, I will. If I don't have the answer, I will find it or find someone who does. I do it not because it is expected, I do it because it is who I am. I like being the wizard - hiding behind the curtain and making the magic happen. I don't need the accolades or my name in lights. I am good with quietly passing through. I may not always be successful and it is not from lack of trying. I am good. I am a good person. If people were to only remember one thing about me, I would want it to be that - that I was a good person. When they thought of me they would smile or laugh. Some memory may come back to them of something I said or did or we shared. For even just a brief moment, my presence made their lives better. To know this, is to know joy.
A lot has gone on in this past week. I have learned things and made decisions that leave me standing and looking at the path of life before me. Sure, I have been here before, yet not from this vantage point. I have learned that I can have control of where I am going and what I am doing and what streets I choose to walk down. I do have a say in every step I take and every turn I make - no strings attached, no expectations. I wasn't sure I would make it here again. Ironically, it's not as overwhelming as I anticipated it would be. Yes, a little big and spacious and takes my breath once in a while, yet not scary. I thought I would feel alone, yet something tells me I am not. There is an excitement of a new journey and electricity in the air. If I can just get through these next few weeks, then this will be the adventure of a lifetime.
While out of town the other day I spent the afternoon with the sister missionaries going to appointments with them and driving them around to save their miles. I had met these two earlier in the fall and told them the first time I was visiting and had the time I would go out with them if they had not been transferred. They were excited to have me with them and even more excited when they asked "are we your family now too" and I replied "of course!" It would seem that among the 250 missionaries in the St. Louis area mission, one of the big goals is to meet me and have me call you my family. Apparently, I am a legend now too.
How can people not like me? I'm kind of like that stray dog with no collar who might have mange that just hangs around your front lawn. Doesn't cause trouble, just lies in grass on the edge of your property and watches you. You really want to call animal control, yet you can't do it. You tell yourself you are going to ignore the scruffy thing, yet soon you find that you are saying hello. Maybe you toss a chicken bone out or leave some water. Then you do it......you call them over and you pet them. That's it, you're hooked. Even if the dog leaves and never comes back, you will always remember it.
I'm good with being a scruffy, mangy dog - no expectations. In high school I had a deal with my best buddy in History class. She was working full time outside of school and I couldn't see the board because I needed glasses. She would sit hidden behind me and sleep and I would wear her glasses and take notes. You see, smart people wore glasses. Now, yes, I was smart yet I didn't really care to be classified as so. In order to get my driver's license, I had to get glasses. I actually waited almost a year later than I had to just because I didn't want to get glasses. I didn't want to fit some role. I enjoyed flying just under the radar. I liked being equal with everyone. Expectations to be a certain way brought pressure. There is power in being a nobody and there is power in being a somebody without exceptions.
I'm pretty genuine - what you see is what you get. No smoke and mirrors. I am who I am, take it or leave it. If I make a commitment to someone or something, I give it everything I have and more. If there is a need and I can fulfill it, I will. If I don't have the answer, I will find it or find someone who does. I do it not because it is expected, I do it because it is who I am. I like being the wizard - hiding behind the curtain and making the magic happen. I don't need the accolades or my name in lights. I am good with quietly passing through. I may not always be successful and it is not from lack of trying. I am good. I am a good person. If people were to only remember one thing about me, I would want it to be that - that I was a good person. When they thought of me they would smile or laugh. Some memory may come back to them of something I said or did or we shared. For even just a brief moment, my presence made their lives better. To know this, is to know joy.
A lot has gone on in this past week. I have learned things and made decisions that leave me standing and looking at the path of life before me. Sure, I have been here before, yet not from this vantage point. I have learned that I can have control of where I am going and what I am doing and what streets I choose to walk down. I do have a say in every step I take and every turn I make - no strings attached, no expectations. I wasn't sure I would make it here again. Ironically, it's not as overwhelming as I anticipated it would be. Yes, a little big and spacious and takes my breath once in a while, yet not scary. I thought I would feel alone, yet something tells me I am not. There is an excitement of a new journey and electricity in the air. If I can just get through these next few weeks, then this will be the adventure of a lifetime.