Worthy as Washo
I really don't know if I will ever get rid of that dark piece in me. I have a feeling that the day that someone comes into my life and truly loves me, that it might change. Problem is, that most likely isn't going to happen in this life, so how do I deal with a demon that keep reminding me on a regular basis that I am not worth the same as others and follows it up with some really good evidence? You see, if they supported it with a bunch of BS, that would be one thing, yet when it is factual crap, that makes it harder. So in my homework from Chris I said, can I just keep telling myself that I am "as worthy as Washo" cause I know she has it made in that worthy department. She said sure, if that works, to go for it.
I will say things like I just want to know what it feels like, etc. Truth is that I know these things. So I guess the proper thing to say is either to remember how it feels or the chance to feel that way again. I remember the confidence, and I remember having the confidence torn from me. Of course I also remember it being "suggested" that if it was taken that easily, was I truly that confident. I think that was followed up by if I was that confident, that it couldn't be taken away from me, and at that point things were already dead and buried. Maybe suggest it can't be taken away BEFORE suggesting it wasn't there to start with.
Confidence felt great. I remember sharing how there was a fine line where I had to be careful as not to be cocky because I felt such surety in myself. Wouldn't that problem be nice to have again? It would feel so good to feel so confident and sure of myself. To wake up and just have that belief that I really was .... as worthy as Washo.
I will say things like I just want to know what it feels like, etc. Truth is that I know these things. So I guess the proper thing to say is either to remember how it feels or the chance to feel that way again. I remember the confidence, and I remember having the confidence torn from me. Of course I also remember it being "suggested" that if it was taken that easily, was I truly that confident. I think that was followed up by if I was that confident, that it couldn't be taken away from me, and at that point things were already dead and buried. Maybe suggest it can't be taken away BEFORE suggesting it wasn't there to start with.
Confidence felt great. I remember sharing how there was a fine line where I had to be careful as not to be cocky because I felt such surety in myself. Wouldn't that problem be nice to have again? It would feel so good to feel so confident and sure of myself. To wake up and just have that belief that I really was .... as worthy as Washo.