Deep Breath and Prayer

I was afraid that seeing my infamous Elder Erickson would be either awkward or it was going to tear my heart out of my chest. I think Heavenly Father knew what I was worried about and how much I just wanted a good moment to remember. The original plan got changed, which gave me a few options and in the end, I got to meet the parents and have some great one-on-one visiting, and get the good memories I was hoping for. As Chris would say, God is good.

I have not been on here for a while, so I am just going to post some photos of my recent activities!

What was that Chris texted me tonight.....deep breath, prayer, and trust. Ah, trust. I know what that is....trust is the willingness to be vulnerable. Never realized how "DBT" that sounds until now. I think I do a lot better with that whole trusting thing than I did in the past. I am a bit more willing to let people inside my inner circle - let them past my "wall of safety" and hope I made a good decision. It is taking a chance for both of us, that wall exists to keep people from hurting me and to keep me from hurting them. Therefore, if you find yourself inside, it comes with a risk.....for all of us. Been pretty sick lately. It wears on my pretty hard, yet I seem to keep hanging in there with it. I do wish there were some answers. Either answers to what is going on, or answers from above in regards to why I need to be going through this. They will come, the answers, from one place or another. Although I want to argue with myself at times, I know this is not a puni...

So, about two or so years ago, I bought a new Blue Angels model, and it has sat ever since. Now, that doesn't beat the "intermediate level" one that has been in the cabinet for almost 10 years. Someday I will get to that one. This one was on sale and as I snapped it together I realized why. Still, it is a fun project. Was easy and a great mindfulness activity. Stickers are a bit crooked, yet my hands are still pretty shaky from everything. I say it is ok, it just gives it a little character.

 And I am home. It seems that it rained why I was in the hospital...like a lot. Have not seen the back flooded this bad for a while. Later on Lora and I took pictures of me with my fishing pole "fishing" in the "lake" I am able to keep things down if I eat slow, just a little bit at a time, and it is bland. It is a challenge when you are hungry, yet if it keeps me from puking, then let's do it. Now that I don't have the constant IV, I am also super thirsty. Of course liquids fall under the same category as food - a little at a time. Talk about a test in patience. Came home with a ton of medicine. Remember my proudness that I went from a shoebox of meds to none after I had surgery? Well, I think I need to find another box. Not too sure how long I will be on all of this, yet it is the only way I am managing to not throw up. Actually had to write out a schedule of what and when to take things because there are so many. Tessa was super happy to see me and has ...

Liquids finally stayed down...now for the real test.

Ann has come every day. Even crawled up next to me and let me lean on her a while. Day 3 win - IV out of hand and into arm. Still can't keep anything down.