A moment with Blewy
Seriously, I can't make up stuff better than the truth when it comes to my life. Since things have been a little heavy-hearted in my posts lately, allow me to just share what I am currently going through.
So today was my gyno follow up from the D&C I had on 9th. That had transpired because since September, I have had a full-blown periods every two weeks like clockwork. All my life I have been irregular - usually going extra weeks (or months) between cycles, so this every other week thing got old real quick. Well, September to January....maybe not that quick, yet for someone with a fear of gynecologists, we can call it quick.
As annoying as it all has been (and lets not dismiss that I have been spending my retirement savings on pads), the worst part has been the PMS every 10-12 days. I told my therapist years ago that if I ever did anything to harm myself or anyone else, they should check where I was in my cycle. Dude, I'm telling you, Lithium couldn't touch my emotional malfunctions in that 3-5 day span. I often wonder how much of the struggles I have had these past several months have been exacerbated by my biweekly hormonal imbalances. And for those who might be curious in regards to this summer, I started 3 days later. So, yah, I was pretty much spot on (oh, probably not the best phrase to use) with that comment.
I was really hoping for a "quick review your test results" appointment but no, I got the "doc wants to examine you" line. Ugh. Luckily she took my blood pressure before making that comment. So I crawl out of my nice warm pants and hop up on the not so warm table (yet we do have the almost as thick as tissue paper sheet they give you) and wait for my demise.
A couple minutes later the nurse comes back, "get comfortable, doc is tied up with a delivery." Really? "Get comfortable" Should this phrase even be uttered in a gynecologist office? Sure! I'll just prop my feet up in these stirrups and grab a bag of popcorn! Tell me, is the delivery being shown on closed circuit TV by chance? Therefore, what else do you do while you are waiting....BLOG!
At other doctor appointments, if I have to wait, I just play with the anatomy models. Most have knee or ankle models on the counters. There is a shelf of models here, yet not finding the ambition to handle plastic uteruses (would that be uteri??). Ok so the one with the removable baby could be interesting and I think that might be a sample of a breast implant. I have no idea what those things are on the top, seriously, if those are models of a uterus, I am running for my life. I'd check it out closer except my cheeks are now stuck to the table paper. Besides, then I would open the drawer and start looking through it. What? You don't peek in the drawers and cabinets at the doctor's office? No, Blewy, leave the models alone.
So what else do we have...oh the photo collage. These crack me up. Usually I see these taped to the ceiling (which adds a super creepy factor in itself) yet this one is taped to the wall next to me.
It's the subtle way to say, "Hey, we're going to violate you with cold metal objects but here look at this lovely collage of beach pictures!" Personally, I say to accompany the pictures, how about an alcoholic beverage with a little umbrella to relax me before you go medieval jousting the lower quadrant my no-no square. And who assumed that everyone likes to look at photos of the beach? I say slap some photos of Team USA Women's basketball and softball teams up there and I'll hang out on your table all day long.
Well, the only thing that leaves in the room are the anatomical posters on the wall. I will not take a picture of those, nor will I make any commentary about them as, since this is me, it would only become horribly inappropriate comments that I would feel guilty about later. Ok, so no, I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I am just sometimes inappropriate. It is not a character flaw, it is trait. I am not embarrassed by it, yet I will shy away from it for this time. Worry not, I will still make plenty of comments, I will just save them for my conversation with my sister later! Then again, we would tell people our names were Va-Gina and U-Terus....the crotch sisters. Um, ok, I need to stop now.
The nurse just came in. Doc is still tied up at the hospital. I have been released from my moment of glory to get dressed and then he is going to call in and give me my report. (What are these moments called? Tender mercies?) She asked if I was doing ok to which I replied, "Yes, I'm actually blogging about this right now." She just started laughing. I wonder how many times they have heard that one! So, you all take a moment to look at these pretty photos from sandy beaches while I go put myself back together....
Just got off the phone with the doctor. What he thought was the cyst ended up being a large polyp and there were others as well. My cervix was inflamed (probably from the yeast infection from hell I was fighting a month or so ago) and all the tissue that was sent to the lab from the uterus and cervix came back benign. He said these were good answers.
Next step will be an Endometrial Ablation. That is where they go in and cauterize the the first two layers of the uterine lining to stop the heavy bleeding (yes, we did not discuss this, yet think about it, if gyno-phobia Blewy is getting procedures like these done, you know it has to have been bad. And it has been, ever since I started my period.) Since I can't share the little brochure with you, click here to read more. You can Google it too. Mayo clinic always has great information on this stuff as well.
That will happen toward the end of February on a Thursday. I told them I had a class on Wednesday nights that I wasn't going to miss. And, even if they do it as late as the 27th, I should still be good for the 5k on March 8th. Dude, if I can personal best a 5k while having a gallbladder attack, I can knock one out 10 days after an outpatient procedure.
They do it under the same scenario as the D&C, so I will be out for it and be down for a day or so. From the few I know who have had it, I will hurt like hell when I come to. We will make due with that as needed. Hopefully this will take care of these issues. If not, the next step will be a hysterectomy over the holidays.
Hey, that's that. I have arrived home and celebrated my "I didn't have to get examined" by making a chicken casserole (chicken, mixed veggies, cream of chicken soup, and quinoa) and pouring a big glass of sparkling apple cider (love this stuff!!!).
I raise my glass to you all in a toast!!!
So today was my gyno follow up from the D&C I had on 9th. That had transpired because since September, I have had a full-blown periods every two weeks like clockwork. All my life I have been irregular - usually going extra weeks (or months) between cycles, so this every other week thing got old real quick. Well, September to January....maybe not that quick, yet for someone with a fear of gynecologists, we can call it quick.
As annoying as it all has been (and lets not dismiss that I have been spending my retirement savings on pads), the worst part has been the PMS every 10-12 days. I told my therapist years ago that if I ever did anything to harm myself or anyone else, they should check where I was in my cycle. Dude, I'm telling you, Lithium couldn't touch my emotional malfunctions in that 3-5 day span. I often wonder how much of the struggles I have had these past several months have been exacerbated by my biweekly hormonal imbalances. And for those who might be curious in regards to this summer, I started 3 days later. So, yah, I was pretty much spot on (oh, probably not the best phrase to use) with that comment.
I was really hoping for a "quick review your test results" appointment but no, I got the "doc wants to examine you" line. Ugh. Luckily she took my blood pressure before making that comment. So I crawl out of my nice warm pants and hop up on the not so warm table (yet we do have the almost as thick as tissue paper sheet they give you) and wait for my demise.
A couple minutes later the nurse comes back, "get comfortable, doc is tied up with a delivery." Really? "Get comfortable" Should this phrase even be uttered in a gynecologist office? Sure! I'll just prop my feet up in these stirrups and grab a bag of popcorn! Tell me, is the delivery being shown on closed circuit TV by chance? Therefore, what else do you do while you are waiting....BLOG!
 |
| Hey buddy, got a uterus I can borrow? |
So what else do we have...oh the photo collage. These crack me up. Usually I see these taped to the ceiling (which adds a super creepy factor in itself) yet this one is taped to the wall next to me.
 |
| Where shall we vacation this year? |
It's the subtle way to say, "Hey, we're going to violate you with cold metal objects but here look at this lovely collage of beach pictures!" Personally, I say to accompany the pictures, how about an alcoholic beverage with a little umbrella to relax me before you go medieval jousting the lower quadrant my no-no square. And who assumed that everyone likes to look at photos of the beach? I say slap some photos of Team USA Women's basketball and softball teams up there and I'll hang out on your table all day long.
Well, the only thing that leaves in the room are the anatomical posters on the wall. I will not take a picture of those, nor will I make any commentary about them as, since this is me, it would only become horribly inappropriate comments that I would feel guilty about later. Ok, so no, I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I am just sometimes inappropriate. It is not a character flaw, it is trait. I am not embarrassed by it, yet I will shy away from it for this time. Worry not, I will still make plenty of comments, I will just save them for my conversation with my sister later! Then again, we would tell people our names were Va-Gina and U-Terus....the crotch sisters. Um, ok, I need to stop now.
 |
| I'm Free! |
Just got off the phone with the doctor. What he thought was the cyst ended up being a large polyp and there were others as well. My cervix was inflamed (probably from the yeast infection from hell I was fighting a month or so ago) and all the tissue that was sent to the lab from the uterus and cervix came back benign. He said these were good answers.
Next step will be an Endometrial Ablation. That is where they go in and cauterize the the first two layers of the uterine lining to stop the heavy bleeding (yes, we did not discuss this, yet think about it, if gyno-phobia Blewy is getting procedures like these done, you know it has to have been bad. And it has been, ever since I started my period.) Since I can't share the little brochure with you, click here to read more. You can Google it too. Mayo clinic always has great information on this stuff as well.
That will happen toward the end of February on a Thursday. I told them I had a class on Wednesday nights that I wasn't going to miss. And, even if they do it as late as the 27th, I should still be good for the 5k on March 8th. Dude, if I can personal best a 5k while having a gallbladder attack, I can knock one out 10 days after an outpatient procedure.
They do it under the same scenario as the D&C, so I will be out for it and be down for a day or so. From the few I know who have had it, I will hurt like hell when I come to. We will make due with that as needed. Hopefully this will take care of these issues. If not, the next step will be a hysterectomy over the holidays.
 |
| SALUD! |
Hey, that's that. I have arrived home and celebrated my "I didn't have to get examined" by making a chicken casserole (chicken, mixed veggies, cream of chicken soup, and quinoa) and pouring a big glass of sparkling apple cider (love this stuff!!!).
I raise my glass to you all in a toast!!!