Not too bad

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It is getting better. More up moments than down in the past few days. No answers to that "why might that be" as there has been plenty of darkness knocking around in my head.

It is well known that my recent battle has been the "feeling like a burden" issue. It goes in phases....again, damn spiral. I remember Chris always saying she would be there as she was available, yet I needed to use all my resources. Can't remember what I had for lunch, yet can remember things like that. The brain is a very odd thing.

While in my struggle, I continually tell myself that I have to try and fix/get through things on my own power first. So, I try to work on that, yet this round I am trying to do it without berating myself with the negative thoughts. It is scary and the small success only reinforces the "don't bother people" thoughts. I don't think it is supposed to work like that. Always a battle.

Complete different line of thought, my legs are really tan. I do not remember the last time my legs had any color, especially so tan. I have been outside more this summer than I have in a lot of years. I just chuckle when I look at them i take my socks off and laugh at my sock line and my shorts line is just hysterical. I'm weird like that, yet it is just funny.

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