Body Trust

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Hello. Been a few years since we fired up the blogging. Needing a place to journal, keep notes, all that kind of stuff  - yah, and work through thoughts. 

Working with Angela on this. She says to start I need something to be creative in. As we know, this blog (or the compilation of the many blogs that make up this one) has been a great place to express myself. Plus, I can write, well, rumor has it I can.

Body Trust - walking the middle path. Sound familiar, that walking thing? (My knees say, please no more walking and thus I have to let my body know that this is figuratively.) So here are some notes we made today, then later...homework.

  • Discernment, not judgement
  • Divestment work, moving away from all/nothing, perfectionism, all "isms"
  • Sustainable, internally sourced. My experience being valued and trusted
  • Center on your story and your truth
  • Understanding how you have been socialized (what's the root) AND willingness to at least question it
  • A person of understanding, how you list trust, how, not why
  • Understanding the "illusion of control" that we've been told/sold
  • Making space for grief work
  • "C" work, make time and space for work
  • Compassion
  • Wisdom and guidance rarely follow when we are content with ourselves
  • Work within the boundaries of your comfort zone (stay in the window, be willing to stretch to top or bottom.)
  • Locate self and widen the lens we see with
  • Self-preservation - comfort, available, familiar

The Questions

Of course there will be homework. This is where I trust Ang. She wouldn't give me anything that would be beyond my capability or my past my ability to work through safely (with tools). It scares me. Change scares me. It's like "I want to change, and I am so afraid of it." What happens when you stand up and then (once again) someone knocks you down. It gets harder to stand up. I am so afraid to "give into the good" as it might be said, because I fear it being taken away. Yet, questions, to be answered soon, yet not tonight.
  • What does it mean to shoot for a C- versus an A-?
  • What does compassion to self look like? (Make this my starting point, we agreed)
    • What tools do I have?
    • What do I need to access this compassion?
  • What does it mean to work in my comfort zone?
    • DBT, Window of tolerance, etc.
  • Who am I and how am I showing up in the world?
  • Why did I draw the short straw?
  • How has body blame affected me.

The "I"

I did not ask for this battle. I did not ask for this pain, and yet here I am and here I feel. So when the "I" comes in, replace it with "we". What are my identities? White, woman, gay, LDS. What else am I? Are we?


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