A happy post
Well, after yesterday, it might be a good idea to actually do a positive and happy post. We are laughing here this afternoon at work because I came back from session smiling and in a much better mood and emotional place. I guess I didn't realize just how low I was, thought I was faking it pretty good. Anyways, they are all talking of sending Chris a huge thank you card. I keep telling her she has a fan club.
So, let me do some proving that I have been attempting to do some things for myself these past few weeks. It's been hit and miss, yet there have been some things in there. Here we go....not in any particular order.
Since tomorrow is Valentine's day, let's start there. I sent Elders Brooks and Erickson flowers. Yes, I did. I wrote the card very "neutral" so no one who saw it would think the wrong thing. Anyways, I sent them these rainbow cuties! How awesome are those???? I didn't even know they could do that with roses. I have seen one-color tipped roses yet never like these. I really did consider sending myself some too :)
The even cooler thing is that while searching for the picture of them to show a friend, I ran across THESE!!! Dude! Blue and Yellow roses!! Forget the rainbow, I want these! Are those just flipping awesome or what??
So I was telling Chris about them and she said to get white ones from the grocery store, put in food coloring and make my own. I think I am going to try that! Of course I will report my progress in a post. And, if they really come out, I will bring her one to say thanks for the fun idea!
Since we are on the topic of color, I will stay there. Last week, I picked up "aqua blue" cupcake mix with blue funfetti frosting. Now, I have taken regular cake mixes and added food coloring to them which is fun yet this was actually blue batter. I thought, hmmm, interesting and they made blue cupcakes. Tess wore blue on her muzzle and head for a while from licking the bowl. Seems it stains a little bit too. Hey, Ali was a black and dark brown dog, this whole light colored fur is a new thing for me. Anyways, they were DELICIOUS and fun.
There was one thing about them that was a bit disturbing....let's see how can I put this....well, um....they stayed blue "all the way through" the system. Yes, friends, unexpected "aqua blue" poo was kind of alarming.....for both Tess and I. Of course, you know me, my next thought was whether I could get purple poo by having blue cupcakes and red velvet cake. Hey, I celebrate my inquisitive thought processes.
I think I reported a while back that I bought the "perfect pancake 4 pancakes" griddle. It works great by the way! So, Tess and I had pancakes with sprinkles in them the other morning. And, no, this did not result in sprinkled poo. They were good though! And as for the griddle, you can even do eggs in it. It is possible I will be able to avoid broken yolks for a while!!! YIPPEE! I am curious if I can make hamburgers in it too. Next adventure, how many things can I make in the perfect pancake that are not pancakes.
My poor DBT binder. It's bad enough that I have way more stuffed into it than it should hold. Makes me think of the "max capacity" signs in elevators. Yah, I'm totally beyond the max limit. Then, it was in my car overnight and got cold. When I wen to open it, the whole front cover came off. Sad moment.
I considered getting another binder, yet that wouldn't work. I mean, this is THE binder that has gone through 2 rounds, how could I just toss it.
Blessed be duct tape and even more fun, choosing just which duct tape would win the honor of fixing the binder. And the winner is....Dill Pickle!! Why? Aside from the fact that dill pickles (especially Vlasic Kosher Dills) are one of the best creations on the market, it was cute and funny. Remember who we are dealing with here....would someone expect any less? Just plain grey duct tape??? Oh no, must not allow such.
I took the cool ceramic paint containers I bought at Hobby Lobby and gave them a purpose. I mean, what better use for them than to hold my colored pencils and crayons? It is like they were meant to do it. I keep them on my coffee table with a pad of paper so I can color any time.
Oh, again, if I didn't mention it before, I LOVE the coffee table. I think it was meant to come live out the remainder of it's life at my place. Yes, home for wayward animals and retired coffee tables. Of course, being LDS and not drinking coffee, should I name it something else? Maybe I should just name the table. Hey, there are reasons I am in therapy and I am not ashamed of any of them!
This is a great picture of the use of the containers, yet you have to give Tess credit for the amazing photo bomb. You go girl. And anyways, how can one not celebrate happiness without some Tess loving? Yup, not sure if she was snuggling so close because it was me or because I had warm fuzzy flannel pants on (are those basketballs cool or what?). Tess and I have that snuggle/cuddle thing in common. Sometimes though, she cuddles like this, gets sleeping really hard, and drools all over me. It's ok. Love is being able to look beyond saliva. I turned to sneeze the other day and didn't realize she was so close and showered her, so I guess it all comes out even in the end.
Ah, what else do we have....
I took the Sisters out for breakfast Monday morning. Sister Biddle was getting transferred (she is headed to O'Fallon and will be serving with Sister Robertson!!!) and I wanted to spoil them one last time. We hit up Cahill's which is the best breakfast in Danville (or the surrounding towns!) and I gave them both gifts. Sister Biddle got an Argentina hat like mine. When I had found these I got two. Her brother and her cousin both served missions in Argentina so it's all about the South American love!! Sister Petrie is from New Hampshire and is always giving me props when I wear my Manchester, NH shirt. I told her I had one that said "Live Free or Die" (NH state motto) as well yet I didn't wear it as much right now because it was short sleeve. I gifted it to her. I told her it would be big on her yet she could just pretend that she was getting a big hug from me each time she wore it. They were both surprised, thankful, and laughed a whole lot!
Speaking of family photos, while cleaning out some old emails, I found some with photos attached. I opened them up and it was a bunch from January 2009.
Yup, family photos from the holidays. This would have been from church and the last time that all of us were actually in attendance together. Seems there had to be something special going on for Lora to have been there.
As if things were not already going to hell in our family, they would shift into high gear and the only other photo of all of us together again would be at Lora's wedding. Seeing that I was the photographer, it is pretty much only by luck that one of those even happened. I was excited to find the photos and did share on facebook....well, this one I did because I love my siblings. Can't believe how small the boys are. JB is taller than me now and Bug won't be far behind in a few years. And, Joe still has blonde hair, you know it is an older photo!!! Poor guy is as gray and silver as it comes now.
See, I have been trying to do some happy things. It's been difficult recently because my depression is playing games with me, yet even a little "something for me" is better than none at all (I am guessing that Chris would agree with that).
I'm trying my best. I still run into rough moments yet you know what....they are moments and not days or weeks. I am doing better with what I do to get through them. I realized yesterday that I haven't abused prescription meds for a while now and I haven't touched Vicodin for well over 9 months! I am going with that being a HUGE step! I haven't cut myself for 3 months (is it possible we have made it past 88.5 days???) and I haven't hit anything for just as long. There are all kinds of little changes too in there that have been good and positive. I don't celebrate them, and I should.
It's Friday, it's almost 5:00 and I am calling it a day. I am running over to Hobby Lobby to search for some leather cord to make a necklace for a pendant that came in the mail yesterday. Nope, that is all you get to know right now. Worry not, I will show it off. It came with a necklace, yet it is a 20" and my neck is a lot thicker. It would be like a choker chain. Anyways, the pendant would look so much more awesome on leather or cord. So, need some of that and some clasps and my creativity.
I told Chris I would do something for me this weekend, therefore I need to get on it. Wow, what a week. I am happy that I am in a good place at the moment. I wish I could bottle it or figure out how to make it last longer. In time I guess. Flipping lessons in patience! Main goal for tomorrow - no sleeping the day away as I have done the past two weeks.
So, let me do some proving that I have been attempting to do some things for myself these past few weeks. It's been hit and miss, yet there have been some things in there. Here we go....not in any particular order.
Since tomorrow is Valentine's day, let's start there. I sent Elders Brooks and Erickson flowers. Yes, I did. I wrote the card very "neutral" so no one who saw it would think the wrong thing. Anyways, I sent them these rainbow cuties! How awesome are those???? I didn't even know they could do that with roses. I have seen one-color tipped roses yet never like these. I really did consider sending myself some too :) The even cooler thing is that while searching for the picture of them to show a friend, I ran across THESE!!! Dude! Blue and Yellow roses!! Forget the rainbow, I want these! Are those just flipping awesome or what??So I was telling Chris about them and she said to get white ones from the grocery store, put in food coloring and make my own. I think I am going to try that! Of course I will report my progress in a post. And, if they really come out, I will bring her one to say thanks for the fun idea!
There was one thing about them that was a bit disturbing....let's see how can I put this....well, um....they stayed blue "all the way through" the system. Yes, friends, unexpected "aqua blue" poo was kind of alarming.....for both Tess and I. Of course, you know me, my next thought was whether I could get purple poo by having blue cupcakes and red velvet cake. Hey, I celebrate my inquisitive thought processes.
I think I reported a while back that I bought the "perfect pancake 4 pancakes" griddle. It works great by the way! So, Tess and I had pancakes with sprinkles in them the other morning. And, no, this did not result in sprinkled poo. They were good though! And as for the griddle, you can even do eggs in it. It is possible I will be able to avoid broken yolks for a while!!! YIPPEE! I am curious if I can make hamburgers in it too. Next adventure, how many things can I make in the perfect pancake that are not pancakes. My poor DBT binder. It's bad enough that I have way more stuffed into it than it should hold. Makes me think of the "max capacity" signs in elevators. Yah, I'm totally beyond the max limit. Then, it was in my car overnight and got cold. When I wen to open it, the whole front cover came off. Sad moment.I considered getting another binder, yet that wouldn't work. I mean, this is THE binder that has gone through 2 rounds, how could I just toss it.Blessed be duct tape and even more fun, choosing just which duct tape would win the honor of fixing the binder. And the winner is....Dill Pickle!! Why? Aside from the fact that dill pickles (especially Vlasic Kosher Dills) are one of the best creations on the market, it was cute and funny. Remember who we are dealing with here....would someone expect any less? Just plain grey duct tape??? Oh no, must not allow such.
I took the cool ceramic paint containers I bought at Hobby Lobby and gave them a purpose. I mean, what better use for them than to hold my colored pencils and crayons? It is like they were meant to do it. I keep them on my coffee table with a pad of paper so I can color any time.Oh, again, if I didn't mention it before, I LOVE the coffee table. I think it was meant to come live out the remainder of it's life at my place. Yes, home for wayward animals and retired coffee tables. Of course, being LDS and not drinking coffee, should I name it something else? Maybe I should just name the table. Hey, there are reasons I am in therapy and I am not ashamed of any of them!
This is a great picture of the use of the containers, yet you have to give Tess credit for the amazing photo bomb. You go girl. And anyways, how can one not celebrate happiness without some Tess loving? Yup, not sure if she was snuggling so close because it was me or because I had warm fuzzy flannel pants on (are those basketballs cool or what?). Tess and I have that snuggle/cuddle thing in common. Sometimes though, she cuddles like this, gets sleeping really hard, and drools all over me. It's ok. Love is being able to look beyond saliva. I turned to sneeze the other day and didn't realize she was so close and showered her, so I guess it all comes out even in the end.Ah, what else do we have....
Yup, family photos from the holidays. This would have been from church and the last time that all of us were actually in attendance together. Seems there had to be something special going on for Lora to have been there.
I'm trying my best. I still run into rough moments yet you know what....they are moments and not days or weeks. I am doing better with what I do to get through them. I realized yesterday that I haven't abused prescription meds for a while now and I haven't touched Vicodin for well over 9 months! I am going with that being a HUGE step! I haven't cut myself for 3 months (is it possible we have made it past 88.5 days???) and I haven't hit anything for just as long. There are all kinds of little changes too in there that have been good and positive. I don't celebrate them, and I should.
It's Friday, it's almost 5:00 and I am calling it a day. I am running over to Hobby Lobby to search for some leather cord to make a necklace for a pendant that came in the mail yesterday. Nope, that is all you get to know right now. Worry not, I will show it off. It came with a necklace, yet it is a 20" and my neck is a lot thicker. It would be like a choker chain. Anyways, the pendant would look so much more awesome on leather or cord. So, need some of that and some clasps and my creativity.
I told Chris I would do something for me this weekend, therefore I need to get on it. Wow, what a week. I am happy that I am in a good place at the moment. I wish I could bottle it or figure out how to make it last longer. In time I guess. Flipping lessons in patience! Main goal for tomorrow - no sleeping the day away as I have done the past two weeks.