Just how it has to be

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I haven't written for a while. There really are reasons other than I spend too much time fishing.

Is there a step below "avoiding"? Not saying that I have been avoiding writing and yet I am not heartbroken that I am not stopping long enough to look at my emotions in the face.

I have been spending a lot of time on myself lately. It has been enjoyable and it has also taken away from time I could be doing things for others. As well, I am spending money I don't really need to be spending.

As I left work this afternoon I got to thinking about things and decided that I really need to back off my extracurricular activities. As much as it breaks my heart, I am opting to stay home this weekend. Yes, I am out the money I paid for the ticket for the zoo, yet I am saving on the gas and food. Even if I took a cooler, I would have to buy cooler friendly food. It is  ok, I will watch a few hours of animal planet and call it even.

I am going to miss seeing my non-u of I racers yet the standard "I got sick" excuse is always easier to use than "I struggle to budget my money wisely." So in an attempt to spend money more wisely, I need to cut as many corners as I can for a while. It is ok, I am not mad at myself or beating myself up.

Tomorrow late afternoon I am down in Tuscola for a website job and then I should have plenty of time to get things done around here. Might finally get the laundry and cleaning caught up!

Part of this will be putting my fishing gear up for a while. All I can say is that it has been a blast and was fun while it lasted. I am sure I will still allow myself to go yet it will not be every night and if I take my gear out of the car, I won't be tempted to go at the spur of the moment.

As far as other activities, it will just have to be a one by one choice. Hey, not the first time I have been in this spot and yet maybe the first time I am not being all negative and nasty to myself about it. I am just throwing my arms into the air and accepting that this is how it has to be for a while.

I will get back on top of it, I always do.

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