Deep Breath and Prayer

It is the last day of February, wow where did those 28 days go? I am not even sure what to make of this past month. Some days went quickly, others felt they were 3-days long. I've come to the conclusion that it is just going to snow forever, even if it gets warm outside. Seriously, we are doomed. There is more snow forecast for this weekend. I walked through the halls at work the other day going, "well, today is day 421 of snow" and everyone felt the same way I did. I'm so over it. Not too much to really report. I'm on day 8 of meds. I am happy to report that I am experiencing the full spectrum of effects while my body adjusts to it all again. Oh how I had hoped I would have skipped this part or it at least would have been mild. Although I am not beating my head on the desk (yet), it could happen. I am glad that some of the things I have been going through the past week make the "common" list or what they say is more than 1 in 100 people experience. feel...

I may have finally met my match in class. I get why they teach things in the order they do. It is my guess that when you get to this point, if you don't have some grasp on the other sections, you might just duck and cover and run for your life. Then again, even if you do have a little grasp on the rest, you might still want to pack up and bolt. Breathe, Blewy, just keep breathing. It is like reaching that championship game after a tough playoff series. A part of you is excited that you made it this far, impressed with the effort you have given. There's that pride of making it this far as the road was not the easiest and there were many moments where you thought all was lost, and in the end you pulled it off. Then the fear sets in - you have been the underdog through all of this and now you are meeting up with the top seed and the odds may or may not be in your favor. This will be your toughest round if for no other reason, because you will have to admit that you really do have ...

We start a new section tonight in class - Interpersonal effectiveness. Yes folks, this is the whole section where I learn to ASK FOR HELP! Is it too late to drop out of class? Although I feel that I have come a long way when it comes to asking for help, assistance, direction, or whatever synonym we would like to use, I still have a way to go. I thought it might be interesting to just talk about how I ask for help (or don't) now, and then at the end of the section or class, come back around and revisit this and see if I have chosen to change my methods at all. A little case study you might say. Now, let me note something here. This is not asking for directions at the gas station. I really have no problems asking generalized questions to random people. I can start up conversations with complete strangers, not too much of an issue. It is when the question has some relation to me. If my personal well being is the focus of the need, question, etc. then it becomes a whole new ballga...

I may have spoken too soon. I have a habit of doing that at times. (Is it really a "habit" if you only do it "at times"?) Anyways, I've been a little expressive in how well I have been lately. How nice it has been to feel good, etc. Not bragging or boasting, just sharing my happiness. I've allowed myself to turn around and look and tell myself, "you were there (and look far, far away into unhealthy land) and now you are here (much healthier land)." I've allowed myself to stand out in the open and feel the warmth of the sun instead of hiding in the shade and just looking at it from a distance, wondering what it felt like. And it has been nice. At the end of session today I made a short comment in regards to how a small part of me is waiting for the shoe to drop. This is the pattern I am used to - good things, great times, then all hell breaks loose. Whether reality or not, it always seemed there was a definite ratio to it all. More good now = mo...

I used to be able to tell the weather during the night without ever opening my eyes. Ali would go out and about and come back in. She generally brought some smell with her. The worst was wet dog. I cannot think of too many things worse than wet dog. Ok, maybe the time she played in the manure pile at the farm, yes, that tops any list of bad smells, yet, for general smells, wet dog will wake you up with no problems. Last winter we went several months with "what is that horrid smell" wofting through the living room. It was finally concluded that something had gotten into the crawl space and died. I just crossed my fingers that it would decompose before summer rolled around. Life was good there and I did not have to go into the belly of the beast and search it out. Last night I laid in bed, all tucked in, comfortable, and warm. I took a deep breath to relax. Upon inhaling I was once again, "what is that!" You go through the list - no, not a candle still burning. No, no...

I went for a run. Yes, sounds kind of funny coming from me, doesn't it? Don't think I have ever seriously said that. Know what, I went for a run. Ok, a walk with lots of spurts of a pace that may have been running, yet I think it counts as "a run." How's that! Ok, so I got 3.1 miles in a little over 54 minutes which I am still on the fence as far as calling it acceptable or not. If I figure in some of the factors - half the route was a steady incline, I had a nasty headache, it was really cold - then I guess not breaking 52 is ok. An hour and a half later I take a deep breath and remember, oh find the good in this....the good....I RAN! I have done my little spurts on the treadmill, yet never out on the road yet. [Beats on chest - I AM OF WORTH!] March 8th is my first run for the season. The Earth, Wind, and Fire 5k run on campus. I did this back in 2011 with Jordan. There is also a 2.5k (a little over 1.5 mile) walk and that is what we did back then. It took me 45...

I have the coolest toys. Yes, I really do. Therefore when any kind of job that requires power tools needs done, it is trip to my house. Monday is TKD promotion test so we had to chop down some pine boards for the kids to break. I always breathe deep when my brother plays with my saws. He wasn't really the one in the family to get the carpentry genetics. I let him play though, and I keep my phone close to call 911. We had some odd sized pieces, so what else do you do with them except break them! I haven't broken boards for a lot of years, so I finally got to hit something and not feel guilty or have to follow it up with apologies. It's not really a surprise that I've been wanting to plow my fist through anything for a while now. So we can just call this, a controlled environment, yes, that sounds wonderful! JB tried to hold it, yet he just wasn't strong enough. That strike will probably bruise. The next shot though, my brother held it and I popped through it like it ...