Breakfast at Blewy's
I used to be able to tell the weather during the night without ever opening my eyes. Ali would go out and about and come back in. She generally brought some smell with her. The worst was wet dog. I cannot think of too many things worse than wet dog. Ok, maybe the time she played in the manure pile at the farm, yes, that tops any list of bad smells, yet, for general smells, wet dog will wake you up with no problems.
Last winter we went several months with "what is that horrid smell" wofting through the living room. It was finally concluded that something had gotten into the crawl space and died. I just crossed my fingers that it would decompose before summer rolled around. Life was good there and I did not have to go into the belly of the beast and search it out.
Last night I laid in bed, all tucked in, comfortable, and warm. I took a deep breath to relax. Upon inhaling I was once again, "what is that!" You go through the list - no, not a candle still burning. No, not a dirty dishrag. No, not something burning. Yes, that is trash. What the heck is in my trash can (I had just emptied it the night before) that smells like that? In my tiny little house, my bedroom is off the kitchen and the trash can sits right in the doorway. Yup, something evil had spawned in the trashcan. Seeing I was really cozy, I just threw the blankets over my head and decided to deal with it in the morning.
Tonight when I came home from work, the house had a whole new flavor to it. You see, there really is a reason I say that I can't cook. It's not a judgmental statement or a put down. No, it is pretty much a general statement of fact. Granted, I am getting better, yet there are just some things I am destined never to win with - namely, breakfast.
Let me tell you that the smell of annihilated, burnt turkey bacon can resonate for hours....several hours.Yah, so how does one utterly destroy food in such a manner? The microwave. Yes, this is another microwave cooking failure. One would think that I had learned my lesson with the tilapia (hey, it said it could be cooked in the microwave!) Here's the thing - if the package says I can cook it in the microwave, I am going to try and cook it in the microwave.
The package said, for four pieces, 3 1/2 minutes. And then that typical "microwaves may vary" line. Ya think? I mean, I like crispy bacon, yet I could have used this stuff as brick and mortar. Well, the positive....it was done....REALLY DONE....yet done!
I have taken a lot of grief over this today so I thought maybe I read the directions wrong. I checked them when I got home, and nope, I was right, it really says 3 1/2 minutes. One friend said, did you not smell it? Yah, I smelled it, it smelled like bacon cooking. Really, didn't smell burnt - not sure if that is good or not - at the time it cooked, yet my house now smells like a bad morning at the roadside cafe.
Again, I find myself sitting and laughing at it all. I chalk it up under another "I can't make up stuff better than this" and just shake my head. I do lead quite an interesting life and for the most part, whether it is good or bad, it is never really dull.
It took me years to figure out scrambled eggs so that they were not runny. It would seem that I still have a ways to go with bacon. Tomorrow, I think I will stick to yogurt.
Last winter we went several months with "what is that horrid smell" wofting through the living room. It was finally concluded that something had gotten into the crawl space and died. I just crossed my fingers that it would decompose before summer rolled around. Life was good there and I did not have to go into the belly of the beast and search it out.
Last night I laid in bed, all tucked in, comfortable, and warm. I took a deep breath to relax. Upon inhaling I was once again, "what is that!" You go through the list - no, not a candle still burning. No, not a dirty dishrag. No, not something burning. Yes, that is trash. What the heck is in my trash can (I had just emptied it the night before) that smells like that? In my tiny little house, my bedroom is off the kitchen and the trash can sits right in the doorway. Yup, something evil had spawned in the trashcan. Seeing I was really cozy, I just threw the blankets over my head and decided to deal with it in the morning.
Let me tell you that the smell of annihilated, burnt turkey bacon can resonate for hours....several hours.Yah, so how does one utterly destroy food in such a manner? The microwave. Yes, this is another microwave cooking failure. One would think that I had learned my lesson with the tilapia (hey, it said it could be cooked in the microwave!) Here's the thing - if the package says I can cook it in the microwave, I am going to try and cook it in the microwave.
The package said, for four pieces, 3 1/2 minutes. And then that typical "microwaves may vary" line. Ya think? I mean, I like crispy bacon, yet I could have used this stuff as brick and mortar. Well, the positive....it was done....REALLY DONE....yet done!
I have taken a lot of grief over this today so I thought maybe I read the directions wrong. I checked them when I got home, and nope, I was right, it really says 3 1/2 minutes. One friend said, did you not smell it? Yah, I smelled it, it smelled like bacon cooking. Really, didn't smell burnt - not sure if that is good or not - at the time it cooked, yet my house now smells like a bad morning at the roadside cafe.
Again, I find myself sitting and laughing at it all. I chalk it up under another "I can't make up stuff better than this" and just shake my head. I do lead quite an interesting life and for the most part, whether it is good or bad, it is never really dull.
It took me years to figure out scrambled eggs so that they were not runny. It would seem that I still have a ways to go with bacon. Tomorrow, I think I will stick to yogurt.