Mindful distractions
It's about 10:00 and I am really tired. One might suggest I go to bed and call it a night. One problem with that - the "voices" started back up about an hour ago and I refuse to lay in bed and go through what I did last night. I don't think I could do it a second night in a row. So, I choose to toss up another post and hopefully in the meantime, the demons will get tired and quiet down to the point I will be able to go to bed and not have a "50 ways to mutilate Blewy" party.
Jordan decided that he didn't want to spend the night tonight, yet we still did dinner. Wow can he eat. That is probably a contribution to the last 4 inches he has grown. I don't get too close to him because I think he is taller than me now and he knows it - and likes to brag about it. Joe was upset that he didn't stay and I shut that down real quick. I told Joe that I never want to boys to be forced to stay the night. If they want to stay, they are always welcomed. If they change their minds, that is fine too. If they get here and decide they want to go home, I will take them home. I never want coming or staying here to be associated with something negative. Who knows, there may be a time when they have to come stay here and I don't want them to feel horrible doing so. I think there was a time years ago that it would bother me if they chose not to stay, yet not anymore. I am happy that I am still cool enough for them to want to spend time with me. The fact that I only see the oldest on Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is a reminder that they do grow up fast and that I will not always be on the priority list.
With the evening being mine, thought I would go ahead and get my bottles done for mindfulness for class next week. One could make a whole mindfulness exercise out of just making the bottles. I think they turned out pretty well. Of course, the real test will be tomorrow. Using the corn syrup in them I learned that they "thicken up" a bit overnight. Will have to say, I have gotten better at making them since the first attempt last summer. I have to write up some directions as well as come up with how I am going to present them. I think I am going to take my calming box as well. I am thinking about approaching it from how I actually did in the first place, the idea that we can come up with our own ways to help control our emotions.
With me, I recognized that I needed to have a way to keep my anxiety from reaching a certain level as not to trigger self-destructive behaviors. The box and the bottles were a way for me to try and meet that goal no matter where I was - I got a bottle on my desk here at home, a few in the kitchen (Bug likes to shake them up all the time), one in my office at work. I will take my extra ones to show them so they can see different bottles and such. I think it will go well. Then will have to start figuring out what to do for the next one. I'd really like to do the cups again yet I don't think we are supposed to do the same thing we did before. Maybe I will just get some cups and keep them in my car and then if one night someone doesn't show and it was their night to do mindfulness, I can go pull them out. Or, just go get the yard stick out of Chris' office.
I would love to make a list or little booklet of things that you can do (make) to help stay focused. There are all kinds of ideas out there online, especially on Pinterst, yet I am not sure if there is a place where a lot of them are all gathered together. Of what I have found close is just lists. Wouldn't it be cool to have the directions to go alone with it all together? Who knows, maybe this is a way I can keep my hand in the DBT world after class is over. I always come up with good ideas yet many times that is as far as they get. They are generally good ideas though!
Oh crud. I just loaded my playlist up with Celine Dion songs. That is not a good sign. Some might even say that is a really huge cry for help. Hey, I happen to like her music. Is there a law against that? Who knows, maybe it will drive the demons away. Yes, we will just start calling it "exorcist music" for emotional demons. See, there is always a way.
With that and the hour that has passed (been doing a little multitasking while writing) I think my mind has quieted down enough that it is safe to go crawl in bed. Oh how I do hope this is not the new routine, I do so very deeply hope not.
Jordan decided that he didn't want to spend the night tonight, yet we still did dinner. Wow can he eat. That is probably a contribution to the last 4 inches he has grown. I don't get too close to him because I think he is taller than me now and he knows it - and likes to brag about it. Joe was upset that he didn't stay and I shut that down real quick. I told Joe that I never want to boys to be forced to stay the night. If they want to stay, they are always welcomed. If they change their minds, that is fine too. If they get here and decide they want to go home, I will take them home. I never want coming or staying here to be associated with something negative. Who knows, there may be a time when they have to come stay here and I don't want them to feel horrible doing so. I think there was a time years ago that it would bother me if they chose not to stay, yet not anymore. I am happy that I am still cool enough for them to want to spend time with me. The fact that I only see the oldest on Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is a reminder that they do grow up fast and that I will not always be on the priority list.
With the evening being mine, thought I would go ahead and get my bottles done for mindfulness for class next week. One could make a whole mindfulness exercise out of just making the bottles. I think they turned out pretty well. Of course, the real test will be tomorrow. Using the corn syrup in them I learned that they "thicken up" a bit overnight. Will have to say, I have gotten better at making them since the first attempt last summer. I have to write up some directions as well as come up with how I am going to present them. I think I am going to take my calming box as well. I am thinking about approaching it from how I actually did in the first place, the idea that we can come up with our own ways to help control our emotions.
With me, I recognized that I needed to have a way to keep my anxiety from reaching a certain level as not to trigger self-destructive behaviors. The box and the bottles were a way for me to try and meet that goal no matter where I was - I got a bottle on my desk here at home, a few in the kitchen (Bug likes to shake them up all the time), one in my office at work. I will take my extra ones to show them so they can see different bottles and such. I think it will go well. Then will have to start figuring out what to do for the next one. I'd really like to do the cups again yet I don't think we are supposed to do the same thing we did before. Maybe I will just get some cups and keep them in my car and then if one night someone doesn't show and it was their night to do mindfulness, I can go pull them out. Or, just go get the yard stick out of Chris' office.
I would love to make a list or little booklet of things that you can do (make) to help stay focused. There are all kinds of ideas out there online, especially on Pinterst, yet I am not sure if there is a place where a lot of them are all gathered together. Of what I have found close is just lists. Wouldn't it be cool to have the directions to go alone with it all together? Who knows, maybe this is a way I can keep my hand in the DBT world after class is over. I always come up with good ideas yet many times that is as far as they get. They are generally good ideas though!
Oh crud. I just loaded my playlist up with Celine Dion songs. That is not a good sign. Some might even say that is a really huge cry for help. Hey, I happen to like her music. Is there a law against that? Who knows, maybe it will drive the demons away. Yes, we will just start calling it "exorcist music" for emotional demons. See, there is always a way.
With that and the hour that has passed (been doing a little multitasking while writing) I think my mind has quieted down enough that it is safe to go crawl in bed. Oh how I do hope this is not the new routine, I do so very deeply hope not.