The safe place
As I noted before, in the first exercise it asked to visualize a place that was safe. Of all the places I usually talk about - the lake, the park bench, the mountains, I was surprised when that first drawing just had a simple oak tree. It would continue through many of my drawings. The scenery around the tree has changed from time to time, yet the tree has almost always been there. I realized once that in the drawings where I was distressed, it did not appear.
In session one day, we drew. I like to draw or color sometimes. For some reason, I feel more comfortable talking, I feel safer to be more open. Maybe it is the "not so formal" atmosphere. I have always been appreciative that sessions are not "I sit here, you sit there, I ask questions, you answer." Still working on getting to that sandbox. I will get the courage to ask, at some point I will be able to do it. Oh, and the airplane....I want to look at the airplane. I think I can ask that one pretty easy. Yet, I digress.
As we drew (using my non-dominant hand), I drew my tree, from it a tire swing. I shared how I liked to swing as a kid. I never did much on a tire swing because I was allergic to the carbon black, yet who doesn't like to swing. Since this was my world, I could have a tire swing...and a pond with ducks. It is the one picture that is not in my folder with all the others as it hangs on the wall of my office. At times, I look at it, close my eyes, and swing away in the sunshine.
The tree and swing have made other appearances. On Tuesday afternoons, I am part of a working group that gets together for an hour to review different web widgets (ie, pop up calendars, interactive tab menus, online forms, etc.). It is not my choice of activity and am a part of it mostly because they meet in my office. Many times it is disorganized and thus messes with my anxiety.
I started practicing my non-dominant hand drawing during this meeting in hopes of keeping myself focused on something and the anxiety down. It has been helpful. I quickly learned that I drew much better with my non-dominant hand and so almost always use it to get my thoughts out on paper.
The week before this swinging drawing, I had even dialoged through the meeting. In an email to Chris, I sent a picture of the drawing with a "look, 'my Chris' came out to see me." I would share with her who my Chris was and will here in a future post.
The tree and grass just became a part of the pictures. A couple sessions back, I was telling Chris that I wasn't getting anything to draw or dialog. I had the tree.....and there it was.....tree.
I shared my drawings with Deb in Charleston on one of my last visits. I had been telling her about them and she was interested to see them as she had heard about non-dominant hand work. As I showed her the drawings, explaining a little about each one, she asked me who the tree represented. I had not thought about that, it was just a tree. The more we talked about it she suggested that it represented Heavenly Father - a strong, never moving, save entity. I agreed.
As I came back later and revisited the thought of the tree, I again agreed that it could be God, yet not always. I concluded that the tree represents strength and security, yet if I were to put names to it, it was dependent on the moment. Sometimes it did represent God, sometimes Chris, sometimes Tami. It changed depending on where I was seeking the strength from at that moment. Now, I wouldn't want to go back through each picture and try to put that connection there as I do not see where that would be of value to anyone except myself. It is my place, my tree, my spot of peace and comfort. I am not sure how it came to be the tree, yet the mind is an interesting thing. Maybe one of these days I will remember some positive moment involving hanging out under a tree.
In session one day, we drew. I like to draw or color sometimes. For some reason, I feel more comfortable talking, I feel safer to be more open. Maybe it is the "not so formal" atmosphere. I have always been appreciative that sessions are not "I sit here, you sit there, I ask questions, you answer." Still working on getting to that sandbox. I will get the courage to ask, at some point I will be able to do it. Oh, and the airplane....I want to look at the airplane. I think I can ask that one pretty easy. Yet, I digress.As we drew (using my non-dominant hand), I drew my tree, from it a tire swing. I shared how I liked to swing as a kid. I never did much on a tire swing because I was allergic to the carbon black, yet who doesn't like to swing. Since this was my world, I could have a tire swing...and a pond with ducks. It is the one picture that is not in my folder with all the others as it hangs on the wall of my office. At times, I look at it, close my eyes, and swing away in the sunshine.
I started practicing my non-dominant hand drawing during this meeting in hopes of keeping myself focused on something and the anxiety down. It has been helpful. I quickly learned that I drew much better with my non-dominant hand and so almost always use it to get my thoughts out on paper.
The tree and grass just became a part of the pictures. A couple sessions back, I was telling Chris that I wasn't getting anything to draw or dialog. I had the tree.....and there it was.....tree.
I shared my drawings with Deb in Charleston on one of my last visits. I had been telling her about them and she was interested to see them as she had heard about non-dominant hand work. As I showed her the drawings, explaining a little about each one, she asked me who the tree represented. I had not thought about that, it was just a tree. The more we talked about it she suggested that it represented Heavenly Father - a strong, never moving, save entity. I agreed.
As I came back later and revisited the thought of the tree, I again agreed that it could be God, yet not always. I concluded that the tree represents strength and security, yet if I were to put names to it, it was dependent on the moment. Sometimes it did represent God, sometimes Chris, sometimes Tami. It changed depending on where I was seeking the strength from at that moment. Now, I wouldn't want to go back through each picture and try to put that connection there as I do not see where that would be of value to anyone except myself. It is my place, my tree, my spot of peace and comfort. I am not sure how it came to be the tree, yet the mind is an interesting thing. Maybe one of these days I will remember some positive moment involving hanging out under a tree.