Today for me: Thursday

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Yes, this will be short, sweet, and to the point. Since I am a little functional at the moment I felt like I really could not allow myself to skip a "for me" day, even if I did have a valid excuse to not write.

Today, for me, I:

Proof that I am alive and not looking too bad.
Luckily, you can't see how glassy my eyes are!
Did not die. Yes, you are all stuck with me still. I'm thinking that doesn't really bother anyone and I am pretty thankful for it. Was home and in bed by about 10:30 this morning and then it all went to hell, yet the ablation procedure itself went just fine. It pretty much feels like a monster truck drove a few times over my midsection. Which, oddly, is ok as "pain" is something I can handle. Then, there is the aching and cramping through my hips and quads from being strung up - ok, that is what about does me in. This time around the combination of the two was extreme enough that it just made me nauseated on top everything.

So, although I didn't die, I really was hoping for it there for a while. I managed to sleep for about 45 minutes at a time then would get up and eat a couple crackers and take drink of some Sprite, then crash again. I was proud of myself though, it got my anxiety riled up to the point the shakes and tremors started in and I just laid there and told myself, "you know what this is, calm down" and curled up in a ball and started thinking, "please pass out, please pass out." It would seem I eventually did. Finally, about 3, things started letting up and got about an hour or so of good, deep sleep in. I'm only up for a bit and headed back into my little warm convection oven of a bed.

Believed. Even though the pain had me almost in tears (yes, note that is almost) I just kept remembering that there were a lot of prayers being said on my behalf today and I just had to keep believing in them. It has been a trial of my faith at times today, and each time I just said some prayers of my own which included thanking everyone who was thinking of me. I got through today with the help of a lot of people, and it has been deeply appreciated. I'm going to have to admit it at some point....I am loved....by a lot of people. I still struggle sometimes as to what they see in me that would cause them to love me so, and yet I find a lot of comfort in knowing they are there.

Ok, so my body is telling me that I am finished and it is time to go lie down again and I'm not going to argue with it today. Thank you to everyone who is remembering me today. Those of you who walk the earth and those who fly in heaven.

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