Deep breath, try again

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It's morning. Sure came quick. Seems like when you get to bed after 2 you should be able to sleep past 8 am. I'm up. I ate. I have the emotional overload hangover. I looked around at my "this is your life" to-do list for today. I go sit on the couch which makes a snapping sound - it appears the patch job on the broken frame is seeing its last days. It's all a little overwhelming. If I were ever to get to that point where I could cry, this would be a good moment to do so.

Tess snuggles up close, as if knowing I am distressed. I take a breath, "all is going to be ok" is what I tell myself. It was just a bump in the road. Just let emotions get the best of me. I just got too tired and let myself get off track. That's all. It is all going to be ok.

At least that is what I am going with.

Wags texts me. I know no matter how bad things may get or feel, I will hear from her in the morning. She tells me to go put ice on my hand. I tell her I can't, that would make it feel better and I am not at that place yet. She replies "ahh", she knows that place of mine, she had dragged me out of it many of times - while handing me a bag of ice.

I don't usually write posts in the morning, yet it is going to be a long day and I will be fighting not to go and sleep it off. I would like to think that by later afternoon or this evening that I will lift my self-imposed grounding and let myself go fish. Maybe I can strike a deal with myself - get the carpet pulled out, get the dishes done, get food in the crock pot. If I can get all of that done, then I can go fish.

Sitting here writing is not getting things done. I just want to go hide and disappear. Even Big Blewy has rough moments.  

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