POTD & Thoughts - Jan 15

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I tried to fish today. It did not last long as my fingers quickly became numb from the wind. Seems I need to find some winter fishing gloves. As well, over 90% of the lake was frozen over. Yah, did not even think about that. It was melted near the dock and I actually had a few nibbles in that short time.

What sent me to attempt fishing today? We have an employee who is very "high strung" and gets overwhelmed quite rapidly. She could use DBT really bad. With the nature of her position she walks in front of my door frequently each day and currently as I am covering captioning, we have to discuss things.

When she is hyped and walking back and forth, there is a lot of animation and verbal exasperation, and most of the time I can ignore it. Not today. With my own emotional vulnerability being a bit hypersensitive, it was really upsetting my attempts to stay calm. After a couple visits to my office where she reacted as if it was the end of the world, I was finished.

I was in that thin line between fake it and being in trouble, and therefore knew I had to get away from it before I was even more affected by it. I realized it had stopped raining and I had an extra hoodie in my car, therefore I needed to go to a safe place....thus, fishing.

Once my hands were numb and my muscles ached from the damp cold, I realized this was not an optimal choice. Knowing Chris was gone, I went over to Tami's. She has told me I can hang in her lobby anytime as well. I came in as a client left so she did not know I was there. I curled up in my corner spot and just tried to calm down.

Tami and I have this "look" thing. When she came out to get her client and saw me there, she gave me our "are you ok?" look and I returned the "for now" nod. Non-verbal communication at its finest.

Slowly relaxing, knowing I was in a safe and secure place, and with the "ocean sound" CD playing, I fell asleep. Now, we all know I still do my best to repress the falling asleep in Chris' lobby episode, yet I do not think I even moved.

I was out, as I did not hear the client leave and when Tami awoke me I jumped pretty well. She made sure I was ok then told me to go back to sleep while she finished her notes.

When we left, I headed back to work to finish stuff since all were gone. Prior to me leaving Tami, I got my orders to eat/drink something at my office before I headed home and things to be mindful of this weekend.

So, I tried to fish. It did not go as planned, yet I was still able to go somewhere safe to calm down. Sometimes I get it right.

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