Sit down, shut up, and listen
Well, hello Blewy. Remember me?
The guardian is not around right now, you are alone, and I'm stepping in to have a little discussion with you. I'm thinking you might want to send Chris an email and tell her to skip reading this post as she is not going to like what gets said. I imagine, for the most part, you won't either but I am going to say it anyways. Truth is, I don't care if you like it or not. Before I go chewing you up, I will give you one complement, I like how you can carry around a red cup and say "I've got chocolate milk" and Tess does anything that you say. Impressive, quite impressive.
Now, sit down, shut up, and listen.
When are you finally going to get your head out of your ass? I used to think you would snap out of wherever the hell your mind is, yet I have decided that you must not be able to do it, come to think about I am going to say that you don't have the ability to do it. Have you even taken time to sit down and think about who you are, who you have become, what the hell you are doing? You used to be better than this.
Remember once upon a time when you thought you were awesome and amazing and would take on anything that came at you with no fear or second guessing? Remember those days? Remember when you could actually convince yourself "I don't care" or "It doesn't matter" when the bad stuff happened? You may have believed you were worthless yet at least you were willing to face it. You could keep me quiet even if you knew my presence was there. Look at you now, pathetic.
I don't like who you are and I have a hard time believing that you do. I'm telling you right now, you are fooling yourself - you have been for years. You have never truly succeeded before and you are not going to now. You don't need to realize this because you already know it - you need to quit denying it and remember it. You don't get to make it, you are not that worthy.
Quit looking so pitiful and quit looking around like someone is going to come help you. Your kids are gone, your protector is gone. They have left you here all alone. You want something to happen? You make it happen, but I know you won't. No one cares, do you hear me? No one. You are nothing and the world will easily go on without you in it.
You let the world destroy you - you did it. You didn't have the guts to stand up to it then and you sure as hell don't now. That pain, guilt, shame, fear, and hopelessness you feel right now - you feel it because you let it happen. I exist even larger than before because you let it happen. You continuously choose wrong and this is the price. You are the one who should not exist. It's no wonder your mom doesn't want anything to do with you, I wouldn't either. There was a time when you might have made people proud, now you are just someone "trying to get it right" and you don't even have a clue what "right" is.
You have the gall to sit and say "I'm trying" and believe it. You aren't trying. If you were trying you would be strong and successful and able to take on anything that came your way. You may be trying, but you sure as hell are not trying real hard. Then again, when have you ever done more than just what you needed to in order to get by. Trying, yah right. How about I come hit you so hard it knocks you out of that chair? How about we "try" that? Just quit lying to yourself. You know just as well as I do that you couldn't "try" if you had a book in front of you that told you how. You don't have the courage or the guts to try. You don't have it in you - you once did, but not anymore. You might as well be empty on the inside. Heck, in my opinion, you are.
How's it feel? How does it feel to have the truth shoved in your face? No sugar coating here - this is how it is and this is how you are. You want to hear it, then here you got it. You may not think you have something to prove, but I do. I am the stronger one, you have done that. I am the one who will stand up and take control while you whimper in some corner. I am the one who is to be in charge and I will give it all I have even if that means continuing to destroy you little by little. You won't win. You can't win. You don't have it in you.
Let's play a game...what do you say? How about tomorrow, I wake up and you don't? While I am laughing in the face of danger, you can exist somewhere in your fear and drama. Everyone can go back to their lives and regain the time you stole from them. There's a reason you will never be loved, because you are like a leech - sucking people dry. You are alone because you have brought it upon yourself. I could have helped you but you never let me. I can still easily destroy you, and I will do my best to accomplish it. I mean, let's face it, if you had anything in you, these words would never be making it to paper. The very existence of this shows you are losing.
You think you have some great, divine purpose. You think you were somebody special. You aren't. You never were. Oh, and by the way, you never will be. You are the last person in line in a line that doesn't even exist. You were picked because you had to be, not because you were wanted. Am I making myself clear - you exist based on a technicality.
Where's your people now? Where's your family? Where's your kids? No where to be found. See the power I wield? People scatter in my presence - you have no one. You are alone and you have no one to help you, no one to save you, no one to support you, no one. All you have is me and I will make your life hell. There is only one way to get rid of me and you know damn well what that is. Just remember, if I go, you go too. If I don't get to exist, neither do you.
I changed my mind. You don't need to suck it up and step up, you need to give up. If you haven't been able to get with the program by now, you never are going to get it. You are wasting people's time and burdening their lives. You don't make a difference. No one is going to suddenly appear and save you. There's no where to go. You have royally screwed it all up. You know, when you are gone, people will be relieved. People will be happy that you are not wasting their time and draining them. Your absence will bring them joy. Do you truly want to make people happy? Go away.
Feel that uneasiness in you? Hurts doesn't it? Feel it right down to your core? You should remember that. Feel that pain, hatred, and disgust? That is what I feel for you, I have always felt for you - that is who you really are - that is who you chose to become. You really need to quit fooling yourself and those around you. Quit trying to live some lie. Quit trying to be someone. It is never going to happen.
All you have to do is say the word and I will take care of all of this. One word and it's done. One word and you are gone. One and done "Blewy", one and done. I'd really like to tell you to stop while you are ahead, but you are so far behind that it wouldn't be worth it. You see, in the end, I will win. I have almost won before, yet I will win this time simply because, I am stronger than you.
The guardian is not around right now, you are alone, and I'm stepping in to have a little discussion with you. I'm thinking you might want to send Chris an email and tell her to skip reading this post as she is not going to like what gets said. I imagine, for the most part, you won't either but I am going to say it anyways. Truth is, I don't care if you like it or not. Before I go chewing you up, I will give you one complement, I like how you can carry around a red cup and say "I've got chocolate milk" and Tess does anything that you say. Impressive, quite impressive.
Now, sit down, shut up, and listen.
When are you finally going to get your head out of your ass? I used to think you would snap out of wherever the hell your mind is, yet I have decided that you must not be able to do it, come to think about I am going to say that you don't have the ability to do it. Have you even taken time to sit down and think about who you are, who you have become, what the hell you are doing? You used to be better than this.
Remember once upon a time when you thought you were awesome and amazing and would take on anything that came at you with no fear or second guessing? Remember those days? Remember when you could actually convince yourself "I don't care" or "It doesn't matter" when the bad stuff happened? You may have believed you were worthless yet at least you were willing to face it. You could keep me quiet even if you knew my presence was there. Look at you now, pathetic.
I don't like who you are and I have a hard time believing that you do. I'm telling you right now, you are fooling yourself - you have been for years. You have never truly succeeded before and you are not going to now. You don't need to realize this because you already know it - you need to quit denying it and remember it. You don't get to make it, you are not that worthy.
Quit looking so pitiful and quit looking around like someone is going to come help you. Your kids are gone, your protector is gone. They have left you here all alone. You want something to happen? You make it happen, but I know you won't. No one cares, do you hear me? No one. You are nothing and the world will easily go on without you in it.
You let the world destroy you - you did it. You didn't have the guts to stand up to it then and you sure as hell don't now. That pain, guilt, shame, fear, and hopelessness you feel right now - you feel it because you let it happen. I exist even larger than before because you let it happen. You continuously choose wrong and this is the price. You are the one who should not exist. It's no wonder your mom doesn't want anything to do with you, I wouldn't either. There was a time when you might have made people proud, now you are just someone "trying to get it right" and you don't even have a clue what "right" is.
You have the gall to sit and say "I'm trying" and believe it. You aren't trying. If you were trying you would be strong and successful and able to take on anything that came your way. You may be trying, but you sure as hell are not trying real hard. Then again, when have you ever done more than just what you needed to in order to get by. Trying, yah right. How about I come hit you so hard it knocks you out of that chair? How about we "try" that? Just quit lying to yourself. You know just as well as I do that you couldn't "try" if you had a book in front of you that told you how. You don't have the courage or the guts to try. You don't have it in you - you once did, but not anymore. You might as well be empty on the inside. Heck, in my opinion, you are.
How's it feel? How does it feel to have the truth shoved in your face? No sugar coating here - this is how it is and this is how you are. You want to hear it, then here you got it. You may not think you have something to prove, but I do. I am the stronger one, you have done that. I am the one who will stand up and take control while you whimper in some corner. I am the one who is to be in charge and I will give it all I have even if that means continuing to destroy you little by little. You won't win. You can't win. You don't have it in you.
Let's play a game...what do you say? How about tomorrow, I wake up and you don't? While I am laughing in the face of danger, you can exist somewhere in your fear and drama. Everyone can go back to their lives and regain the time you stole from them. There's a reason you will never be loved, because you are like a leech - sucking people dry. You are alone because you have brought it upon yourself. I could have helped you but you never let me. I can still easily destroy you, and I will do my best to accomplish it. I mean, let's face it, if you had anything in you, these words would never be making it to paper. The very existence of this shows you are losing.
You think you have some great, divine purpose. You think you were somebody special. You aren't. You never were. Oh, and by the way, you never will be. You are the last person in line in a line that doesn't even exist. You were picked because you had to be, not because you were wanted. Am I making myself clear - you exist based on a technicality.
Where's your people now? Where's your family? Where's your kids? No where to be found. See the power I wield? People scatter in my presence - you have no one. You are alone and you have no one to help you, no one to save you, no one to support you, no one. All you have is me and I will make your life hell. There is only one way to get rid of me and you know damn well what that is. Just remember, if I go, you go too. If I don't get to exist, neither do you.
I changed my mind. You don't need to suck it up and step up, you need to give up. If you haven't been able to get with the program by now, you never are going to get it. You are wasting people's time and burdening their lives. You don't make a difference. No one is going to suddenly appear and save you. There's no where to go. You have royally screwed it all up. You know, when you are gone, people will be relieved. People will be happy that you are not wasting their time and draining them. Your absence will bring them joy. Do you truly want to make people happy? Go away.
Feel that uneasiness in you? Hurts doesn't it? Feel it right down to your core? You should remember that. Feel that pain, hatred, and disgust? That is what I feel for you, I have always felt for you - that is who you really are - that is who you chose to become. You really need to quit fooling yourself and those around you. Quit trying to live some lie. Quit trying to be someone. It is never going to happen.
All you have to do is say the word and I will take care of all of this. One word and it's done. One word and you are gone. One and done "Blewy", one and done. I'd really like to tell you to stop while you are ahead, but you are so far behind that it wouldn't be worth it. You see, in the end, I will win. I have almost won before, yet I will win this time simply because, I am stronger than you.